Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse
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Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse
About When God's Timing Meets Your Marriage
Have you ever felt caught between your desire for action and your husband's hesitation? That tension of knowing when to speak up versus when to step back affects nearly every marriage, especially during major decisions like welcoming foster children into your home.
This heartfelt conversation explores the challenging yet transformative practice of trusting God's timing in marriage. When Kristen completed a long-awaited bathroom renovation – the final step before reopening their home to foster children – her husband's uncertain response tested her patience. Rather than pushing for the answer she wanted, she chose a revolutionary approach: walking away to pray.
Her story reveals the powerful difference between trying to change your spouse through your own efforts versus allowing God to work on their heart. "It doesn't help anything, it just delays it even more," Kristen admits, reflecting on past moments when her impatience created conflict rather than progress. Through vulnerable sharing, we witness how surrendering control to God paradoxically brought faster resolution than any amount of persuasion could have accomplished.
What makes this conversation truly special is seeing how these principles build upon themselves over time. Each experience of watching God work in unexpected ways creates what they call a "book of remembrance" – evidence of God's faithfulness that strengthens faith for future challenges. Whether you're navigating fostering decisions, home renovations, career changes, or any area where your timing doesn't match your spouse's, these insights offer both practical wisdom and spiritual encouragement.
Ready to transform how you handle those moments when you desperately want your husband to see things your way? Listen now, and discover how patience might be the most powerful tool you haven't fully embraced in your marriage.
been really good to talk about with you today, and that is how in the world you trust your husband enough to back off when you know you need an answer, or you feel like you need clarity, or you feel like you need to just see him change.
Denise Jackson:So all of those things with our husbands because God says that our husbands are the priest and king of our household, and if you really want more understanding on that, you need to read Ephesians 5, because it talks about his heart and how his heart should be towards you too. So it's not like a simple thing. It's something that God has to be part of or it's not going to work. And so Kristen and I were just talking earlier and I want to continue that conversation about how they're looking to open their home to some foster kids soon, and that's you know, they've already done this once and it was hard but rewarding, um, but now they're kind of ready to do it again. But timing, god's timing is perfect and your husband, your husband, is in God's hands and we're gonna trust. Trust that, and we're going to talk a little bit about how we do that. So, kristen, welcome.
Denise Jackson:I'm happy you're here today. Thanks for having me again. Yay, well, you're a regular because you're also my videographer, and you're you're. You and I are always talking about these issues, the issues of life that you know, god gave us a lot of instruction about All sorts of issues. So talk to me a little bit about this whole process and the bathroom.
Kristin Taibi:Yeah, so we've been kind of been going with gauging on what we're gonna start our fostering again, based on, like, when we get this bathroom done, because it's the kids bathroom so it needs to be finished when they get there. So we've been on pause and just taking a rest during that time and finishing, you know, the things with the house, and so the bathroom was finished the other day, um, finally, yay, yeah, I love when a project gets done.
Denise Jackson:I know, oh, I love it. It's such a relief Starting a project, yeah. But then, yes, it's like, once you finish it, it's like oh my gosh, I love it.
Kristin Taibi:It was taking longer than we expected, did it turn out as good as?
Denise Jackson:you hoped it did.
Kristin Taibi:Is it better than?
Denise Jackson:you hoped, or pretty much just exactly like you imagined.
Kristin Taibi:It's a little bit better than I hoped oh yeah, that's even greater, yeah so I good. So we're like um, and so we're also like delayed, because we thought we'd start like last month. We thought the bathroom would be done but then it just it just didn't happen. With life, you know how busy life gets and just there.
Denise Jackson:I just want to say, like that's we call it life. Yeah, but god orders our steps. So he knows, yeah, and and I have the benefit and you do too of being able to look back and say, oh, that really wasn't late, it was like just yeah, on time, so you've learned to trust him. Yeah, walk, and I've learned to trust him that walk.
Kristin Taibi:So it makes it a lot easier when we yeah, thanks that right right, absolutely like we've had some like you know just in the past how I've learned this and just realized like yeah, like this doesn't help the situation like ever. So, like I'm getting better at actually, you know, living it out with like, yes, just praying through it, and you know not pushing but yeah, so I'll finish the rest of the story.
Kristin Taibi:Yeah, yeah, yeah um, but yeah, so the bathroom was finally finished on Friday. We are a month delayed, like I said, um than we expected. And so then, friday, you know, we're finishing it up and I'm like, okay, well, it's finished. So are we gonna like open up our house um next week? Then, and my husband's response was I don't know. So I was like what?
Denise Jackson:did you want to say?
Kristin Taibi:What did you want to say? What I wanted to say was what do you mean? You do not know, like I thought the answer would absolutely be yes, yes and it was not that, so it was like yeah.
Denise Jackson:I put him on a discussion. So what does that mean? Yes, yeah.
Kristin Taibi:But I just didn't. I was just like okay, deep breath, and I just walked away, and then I went to go pray because I like literally needed to get it out, yes, otherwise like not to him, but just to God. Yeah, what's going on here?
Denise Jackson:let him know yeah, and he listens right, like, like, if you're out there right now and you think you can't have a personal relationship with our father Abba through Jesus, that's why he sent Jesus so that we could have this one-on-one relationship, despite the stuff that's in our lives, because Jesus is there in front of us, putting all of our sins behind us. And I want you to know that today, because if I did not have this relationship where I could go to my father and just say this is what's going on?
Denise Jackson:please do something in me or in my husband, or both, but do something. And he always, always listens, loves, and then he does it in his own time. But it's perfect timing, yeah, it is perfect timing.
Kristin Taibi:And then he's the one who own time, but it's perfect timing, yeah, it is perfect timing. And then he's the one who can move on my husband's heart rather than me trying to do it in my own strength. That's right by like just using a bunch of words. That will probably not help our relationship and may hurt a week. Yeah, that's, yeah, yeah so it's like really important to go to God and just let it out you know, not bottle it up either because sometimes people could bottle it up and then that's not good for you.
Denise Jackson:Yes, yeah, yeah, and. And so that was friday and today is monday. Yeah, but everything is already changed.
Kristin Taibi:Yes, so what happened? Well, right now we're still didn't actually text the person. Hey, yeah, hey, we're opening up our house, but like we are. But did you have a? Conversation oh yeah, so how did it change? So we did have a conversation. You prayed you prayed.
Denise Jackson:And then how did?
Kristin Taibi:it happen on Friday, so no, so I yes. So I had to wait a couple more days before he actually brought it up okay, you waited for him to.
Denise Jackson:Oh my gosh, high five woman. I mean seriously, cuz like that's the hardest thing for me. It's really hard, yeah, we learned, do I still have to it, and so yeah, but I would be a year.
Kristin Taibi:Yeah, you had to wait two days, yeah yeah, I had to keep praying, though, like because it would like come back up like in my mind and be like, maybe you should say something, yeah, but then I'm like you know, I'm still just I'm not gonna do it.
Kristin Taibi:but it was funny how God used other people to ask him questions, like his, I think dad called him this weekend and I think he may have talked to his mom and so, like they both like, were like so when are you gonna start again? And I think he may have talked to his mom and so, like, they both like, we're like, so when are you going to start again? And I'm just like, I feel like I feel like God's using other people to to confirm in his spirit.
Denise Jackson:So when you talked what, what was the conversation Like? If you can share some of the conversation, I know yeah.
Kristin Taibi:So even after he'd like talk to his parents. I still was. Just like I want him to bring it up.
Denise Jackson:That's good. I really don't want to push.
Kristin Taibi:So when we did talk, it was just quite random when he finally brought it up. I think it was like we woke up in the morning and then all of a sudden he was like so are we going to start like next week?
Denise Jackson:I was like you're ready? What? Oh my goodness, I think that was.
Kristin Taibi:I think so. If you're ready, then I'm ready, and the bathroom's ready.
Denise Jackson:Okay, so let me ask you to go back and tell me a time, if you can think of it, when you weren't patient. Do you remember a time like that?
Kristin Taibi:I'm sure there was times trying to think specifically Okay, I think when we were working on our house, like when we first moved in, our house is like, very unfinished, the whole master bedroom was not finished. So this was also another thing. It was just like when we are finished not re-renovating, because it was just unfinished when we were finished doing the construction in our bedroom.
Denise Jackson:It was like let's start fostering. So like it was all based on that again, like when we finished the project and that project was huge.
Kristin Taibi:I mean, it took I think like six, seven months to finish it, yeah um. So I remember at first trying to rush through like oh, gotta get going, let's go, let's go, and, like you know, it would just cause conflict between us, though like I was pushing him too hard and he he's been like concussed in the past, oh, and so his, his mind or I don't know something in his brain. Basically, he pushes too hard, he can get like dizzy and just doesn't feel good and he needs to like take a break.
Denise Jackson:So like it doesn't help anything, it just delays it even more yeah, and so that's really interesting because, like I, I didn't have a good reason for Lee delaying and I'm always the one that's like let's go, let's go right now. Yeah, I don't know if that's a woman thing or if it's just couples. You know one of them is that way and the other one is one's ready to go and one's slower, and because God put us together, we trust now that that's for our good.
Denise Jackson:But back when I was younger, it was like what's going on? I know the right answer. It was so funny when I finally realized okay. I didn. I know the right answer. It was so funny when I finally realized, okay, I didn't know the right answer. So that's good, because you've learned over the years and over the things you've gone through and we all do we all learn and.
Denise Jackson:I guess what I want to say about relationship and what God says about this priest and king concept is God is our priest, he's our king, he's our father, he's our defender, he's all the things we need, but he brought us together with this one person, and that one person is our complement, it fits us together. It doesn't feel like it all the time, but he knows what each one of us needs to be fitted together one flesh perfectly, you know, while we're walking right, yeah, and so I trust not Lee, even though I adore my husband. I trust the father that he knows what I need now. Now I trust him.
Denise Jackson:I got in no way, yeah, I know I, even when I was saying I trusted him, I wasn't trusting him like I needed to trust him, because I had to grow. You know, he had to teach me some things, but now I can see so many places where his order was perfect, his timing was perfect, and so I just pray that the timing will be perfect for your children that are coming into your home, that they will be blessed, that you will be blessed, that your family, your extended family, will be blessed in this situation.
Denise Jackson:extended family will be blessed in this situation. Whatever happens in this, we're going to trust God, right, we're going to trust each other, because he gives us these friendships too, and they're really, really important for our life and they build us up and they encourage us when we're really in hard places. And so for you, missy, I just pray God's best, more than you can ask or think Thank you so much.
Kristin Taibi:Yes, I definitely appreciate your prayers. Yeah, and one thing I also just wanted to say like when we pray for our husbands and you know, give it to God it's like amazing to see God work in them and see your prayer answered, like it builds your faith.
Denise Jackson:It does, does. Thank you for saying that it does. That's how we know now yeah, is we have that book of remembrance? Yeah, that's that way God has worked in our life before, and then, when we go through another hard time, yeah, we can trust yeah yeah, because we will because we live in the air.
Kristin Taibi:Yeah, we can remember that and be like I can pray again for him and God will do something that's right, or maybe God will even do something in my heart that needs to change, because that's been a thing too, I know.
Denise Jackson:So like there's a verse that says let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to God, yeah, so for a long time I was praying that for Lee. One day God said you can pray for you too.
Kristin Taibi:That happened to me before the prayer too. I'm like, oh, okay.
Denise Jackson:And now what's so neat is Lee and I pray together every morning, which I mean that's in the last few years, but it wasn't. We've been married 50 years this week. Wow, that's amazing, which is a miracle, because you know we were like Happy anniversary, by the way. Happy thank you very much, you know. Yeah, thank you very much, um, but that, uh, is what's so good about that verse, is that now he prays that for me?
Kristin Taibi:and he prays that for him, and he prays it for the people he works with.
Denise Jackson:That's such a powerful verse. The word of god is mighty. Okay, we're gonna leave you with that. Um, I hope you have a wonderful day. Talk to you soon.
