Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse

About Cam's Story of Faith, Community and Purpose

• E's Greenhouse • Season 1 • Episode 13

Share episode

What happens when God breaks through our masks of performance and anxiety? When 23-year-old Cam Escalante arrived at Texas State University, she was convinced she'd made a mistake and desperately wanted to transfer schools. Little did she know that God had orchestrated this season to completely transform her understanding of belonging, community, and authentic faith.

In this heartfelt conversation with Denise Jackson, Cam vulnerably shares her journey from crippling anxiety to genuine joy. The turning point came when friends at Crosstalk college ministry noticed her distress and surrounded her with unconditional acceptance, telling her she didn't need to pretend things were okay when they weren't. This simple yet profound moment of community began dismantling years of self-protection and performance-based identity.

Cam's testimony weaves together remarkable stories of God's specific provision throughout her life – from miraculously receiving pizza as a hungry middle schooler after a simple prayer, to now serving at Camp Eagle, the very place where she first personally encountered Jesus at age ten. The beautiful full-circle nature of her story demonstrates God's intricate involvement in our journeys.

For anyone struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, or the need for approval, Cam offers transformative wisdom: "You don't have to earn affection. You don't have to strive anymore. You don't have to perform or pretend to belong." Her message reminds us that we are both "called and kept" by God – nothing we do or don't do changes His unfailing love for us.

Listen as Cam shares how finding true community changed everything and learn how you too can experience freedom from the exhausting cycle of performance and discover the joy that comes from simply being loved.

We love to hear from you! Send us a text

Denise Jackson:

Okay, missy, so welcome to Rooted in Rising Growth from the Greenhouse. I'm so excited. Today I'm Denise Jackson, your host, and I'm excited to welcome one of my friends, cam Escalante, and we're going to just be talking about Cam's life and lessons, and I'm really excited to have her. She's an amazing 23-year-old woman who loves the Lord and seeks Him every day and serves Him, and God's done some mighty things in her life at a really young age, and so I hope it encourages you and you enjoy our conversation.

Cam Escalante:

Thanks for having me. I'm really excited, very honored. You're a dear friend and you just light up the room, everything you do so how did we meet?

Denise Jackson:

Really good to know each other.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, I mean, I feel like we saw each other in passing at Cypress for a long time and I think my first memories of you, Denise, are in prayer meetings or prayer rooms and just hearing your like agreement of yes, father, like yeah, and just the excitement and just the love that you had for God. So verbally all the time. That's my first memories of you, but I think we really got to know each other this past summer in Mexico. We went on that trip together.

Denise Jackson:

We went on a mission trip to Mexico. We had so much fun and, yeah, I think that's when I got to know you a little bit better and actually, I've gotten to know you a lot better, even today as we've talked about our lives and the similarities of our lives. Yeah, it's been so cool, so like right now you're finished with college.

Cam Escalante:

I'm finished with college.

Denise Jackson:

And how is that like journey through college? What's your degree in Communication Studies Okay, with college. And how is that like journey through college? What's your degree in Communication studies, Okay?

Cam Escalante:

Um, I've been doing on and off grad school through Dallas Baptist. I've actually felt very called recently to just put a pause on it. Um, for a couple of reasons, and the main thing is, um, it's there's so much going on in this season and while, like, getting that degree it's in ministry education leadership has been really cool, that degree it's in ministry education leadership has been really cool Um, it's also very expensive and it just takes up so much of my resources. Um, like mentally and money wise and time wise and just with um, everything I'm doing right now, I've felt more conviction to plug in locally and pour out from there, and so I do want to finish my degree eventually. I think it's a cool degree, but it's also to do what I'm doing right now.

Denise Jackson:

So you know it's so it's just honing. It's honing the skills.

Cam Escalante:

And God will do that.

Cam Escalante:

I'm going to pull open the door for that when the time is right, yeah but my undergrad was in communication studies and, yeah, wow, I feel like I could unpack a lot there with just my experience with college. But I came to Texas State in 2019 and my very first thoughts of Texas State were that I hated it and I wanted to transfer and I didn't think I was going to be staying at Texas State at all. And I originally was coming to Texas State because, I told you, I did theater in high school and I love theater I still do but I originally was coming to be a theater major. And then I felt just like led away from doing that the summer going into, well, really, spring semester, my senior year, going into summer of my freshman year. So I had changed my degree to communication studies and, as you know, I was thinking about and praying through like, should I switch?

Cam Escalante:

I just felt very led away from theater. Then I started to question, well, should I go to Texas state? Um, you know, should I just stay home? And Tyler, and, candidly, another piece of that was I was dating a boy who was from Tyler um, and I just really didn't want to leave Tyler um, the, and so I came to Texas State. I was like, well, I'm not staying here. I'm gonna move somewhere closer to East Texas I can see my boyfriend.

Denise Jackson:

Yes, so I can, which is like super normal for super normal, super normal.

Cam Escalante:

And also so I think there was a subconscious. I'm not going to try that hard like to find friends here, even though I was like you know I'll do my best, but in that first semester I was like I can't find anybody who is like you know, going to be my friend and nobody has similar interests or likes or values as me was not true at all, but not true at all. So I ended up finding crosstalk my freshman that first semester and um tell them about crosstalk, just because lots of people might not know.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, yeah um, crosstalk is a college ministry at Texas State University where I go to school or went to school, and it's um kind of the daughter ministry of the church we go to, which, which is Cypress Creek Church. Cypress started in 1993. Crosstalk started in 1994. So they're really hand in hand and it's exclusive to Texas State University. I'm sure there's other ministries called Crosstalk, but the one with Cypress is at Texas State.

Denise Jackson:

Crosstalk is and so has so crosstalk changed.

Cam Escalante:

some things for you oh yeah, oh my gosh, I, I can't believe that. I. I work for crosstalk now, also for contacts, like I work for Cypress. And so if you would have told me my freshman year that when I was really convinced I wanted to transfer schools and hated Texas State that I would eventually End up serving with the ministry, I completely would not have believed you and nor would I have wanted to. So I cross talk gave me my friendships.

Cam Escalante:

I mean so many friends that I made and cross talk like I've been in their weddings and they're they're my best friends to this day, and the mentorship and the leadership that I found within cross talk and Cyprus is nothing short of miraculous and life-changing.

Denise Jackson:

Like, truly, I would not be who I am. Well, that's why God tells us we're not. You know, we need to not be alone, we need to be where we can be fed and where we can be connected, and that was your community group. That was where you guys really shared your hearts 100%.

Cam Escalante:

That's awesome, yeah, and god himself is communal it's father, son, holy spirit. So why? Who have been in relationship since before the beginning of time and for all eternity? So if god created us as a reflection of himself and community, then why do we sometimes think that we can get away from not being in community?

Denise Jackson:

Or that he's so far away from us. Yeah, like an ever-present help. Yeah, like he's promised.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, and we talk a lot at Cypress about belong, and I think it's twofold, because we do belong to Jesus first, but it's a horizontal belong and also like a vertical belong. Oh, I love that, like we belong.

Denise Jackson:

I mean belong and also like a vertical belong. Oh, I love that, like we belong. I don't really talk about that, but just do that as you're saying that. I just see that like I've been thinking that you know, I'm rooted and grounded in the love of god through christ jesus, yeah, and I'm supposed to spread my branches, yeah, and be a place of rest and hope and security for others that he brings into my life.

Cam Escalante:

So I really just love how that we're spreading now I feel like that, yeah, it's, it's really, it's beautiful, and we actually just talked about this in my community group last night too.

Cam Escalante:

So it's kind of funny how it just came up again. But, um, yeah, crosstalk, I greater are the things that god has for us that we can ask, imagine or fathom. So that is definitely like a lot of my story with crosstalk, and I was I've heard jose talk about this before too because our pastor, he helps with crosstalk and I really feel like you know, I owe my life to jesus, but I feel like I owe my life to crosstalk Like I want to spend.

Denise Jackson:

Yeah that was one of those defining moments in your life.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, and pour it back into so just talking about that.

Denise Jackson:

Were there any times after you got in crosstalk where you just had some great needs and you really needed God to intervene or to or you didn't even think you needed anything but he intervened just to remind you that he was right there?

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, um, first thing that comes to mind is when I first got to college, I was filled with so much anxiety and crippling, crippling anxiety. And I just remember my freshman year, specifically that first semester. I was having panic attacks all the time, all the time, like I remember almost. I think I almost passed out one day because I was breathing so heavily and like hyperventilating, and it just was truly like riddling my life and crippling my life, and it was something that I just didn't know Jesus could give me freedom from.

Cam Escalante:

it was kind of one of those things where I was like, well, this is just the way I am this is just who I am yeah, and I feel like I just accepted it as a part of me, and Do you think that there was a responsible party that was contributing to your anxiety? Yeah, I think there was a few things going on in my life at that time.

Denise Jackson:

I'm just thinking spiritually, like Satan was all over you. Yeah, because you know, look what he would have stopped if you had quit. Look what he would have stopped. And so he wants to do that he loves to destroy. Yeah, he does anxiety is like his weapon. It's not god's because. What does he say? Yeah yeah, haven't been given a spirit of fear, but power, love and so on, but you didn't know it yeah and um, so I, I just I truly didn't know that jesus could give me freedom from that and more than that that I could have a life free from anxiety.

Cam Escalante:

But I I didn't really talk about it with anyone, I didn't share with anyone, I just let it cripple me until I remember one night I could not stop like hyperventilating, I was crying, and I'm very much like someone where I wear my heart on my sleeve, like I'm a very external processor, I verbally process things and I like I just have to get stuff out Like I can't like, and I think that's really a gift from God too, that like my body keeps the score in that way. But I it was one Thursday and I could not even bring myself to get out of my room and um, but I, I was like I want to go to crosstalk, I want to go to crosstalk. And I was back and forth like no, I can't go. No, I should go. No, I can't go, I can't let them see me like this.

Cam Escalante:

And so I in my mind I was like, okay, I've pulled myself together enough. You know, kind of pick yourself up by your bootstraps, like, get it together so you can show your face to everyone. And I walked we were having cross talk in the middle of the campus that day, outside, and I remember walking up my that fall semester and I made eye contact with some people who I had been friends with and made friends with, and they just immediately knew like something was wrong. And so making eye contact with them, you know, when you're having a bad day and somebody asks you are you okay?

Cam Escalante:

and it's just yeah, floodgates are open yep and one of them said are you okay? And I remember just losing like sobbing in the quad that day.

Cam Escalante:

And then immediately being met with like three or four girls who just surrounded me and hugged me and loved me, um, for exactly where I was at and exactly who I was, and told me that I didn't need to pretend that things were okay if they weren't and that God just wanted my heart and wanted me to be honest. And so I immediately felt a weight just lifted off of me and I worshipped at crosstalk. But I think in that time too, I think I just didn't know that it was a joy that I didn't need to pretend about, because I had always. You know, this is a whole other thing too, but when I was younger, I was very shy and very quiet and almost kind of marked by like sadness a little bit, and, um, that wasn't who I was in Christ, but it's just how I protected myself, it's just how I like shielded myself from all of the hurt and harm that I was like this could come my way, this is how I need to protect myself. And then, the more that God began to uncover and peel off those layers of self-reliance and self-protection, um, I just became more of who I am today.

Cam Escalante:

But even in that, to a certain point, in like probably senior year, um, when I was told you know, you're joyful, you're, you have this happiness about you, I was like, okay, that's just what I need to pretend to be at all times, even if I'm not feeling that.

Cam Escalante:

And so I think I, in my freshman year of college, really just put on this mask of this is who I need to project myself to be, and just an image, perception, perception management type of thing, rather than having the mindset of this is a joy that I don't need to pretend about. I just need to abide with the father and trust that the whoever he's made me to be is going to naturally overflow from that and and we see that and oh, thank you. And so, anyway, that's one instance where I really feel like I was so just engulfed and encapsulated by anxiety and pretending and performance and doing it like OK, god, this is to glorify you in thinking yeah, and then I'm going to just put the mask on so that I can appear that yes, okay, yeah, yeah, and that you had.

Denise Jackson:

You know that he positioned those girls at that time and that they were sensitive to the spirit, to recognize that you needed to be reached out to in that moment and he just broke apart that mask yeah I loved.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, it was definitely a defining moment for me in crosstalk.

Denise Jackson:

So, uh, when you were young, um, you had some insecurities just in life and um you told me the story about the peanut butter, the peanut butter uh the peanut butter.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, um, I so when I was in younger, in middle school, um, there were some days where I just didn't have lunch for whatever reason, or like, didn't have money to buy lunch, and so the the story with that is I would bring a jar of peanut butter to school and I would just eat peanut butter with a spoon, and it gave me what I needed.

Denise Jackson:

you know it did, but it was probably something that was hard for you in that moment but God provided. Even then I told you it's got protein, you can stay alive. Fats your brain was still developing.

Cam Escalante:

It was good, but it's hard.

Denise Jackson:

It was hard. And then you went to school one day and they were giving away pizza to some people whose names were drawn. Yeah, so tell that story.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, I went to school this one day and they were giving away pizzas. I think it was for like a fundraiser or something.

Cam Escalante:

It was, like you know, one of those fun weeks in school where they were doing like pizza parties and like whoever made or sold the most cookie dough or something, you got this and so they were doing all kinds of promotions for it and they're giving away those pizzas in the cafeteria for free. And they didn't have a lot of pizzas, to my knowledge, but we could put in our names, um, into this little raffle and if our name was drawn we got a free pizza. And so I'm hungry. I don't have lunch, I don't even think I had a jar of peanut butter this day, to be honest. But I remember thinking, okay, I'll just put my name in the raffle. You know, worst case scenario, I don't get a pizza.

Cam Escalante:

And the girl sitting across from me her name was Delicia Delicia Rowland, but she was sitting across from me and she had put her name in as well, and then her name got called over the speaker right. And so I'm like, like I just shut. I'm like why did she get a pizza? What? Like that's crazy. And I go to a pretty big middle school, like there's a lot of kids in the cafeteria and so she comes back, she sits down and I even asked her. I was like why? I was like how'd you get that Kind of joking? But like how'd you get a pizza? Like that's not fair. And me, and she was like I prayed, and to me, when I was at that age, I just was like no way you just prayed and then God just gave you a pizza like that is crazy.

Cam Escalante:

and she was, like it happened, I did. And so I thought, okay, you know, I'll just I'll try that, like I'll just pray and I'll just see what happens. I'll just talk to God and let him know what's going on, and I'll just I'll try that, like I'll just pray and I'll just see what happens, I'll just talk to God and let him know what's going on. And so I prayed, just to myself and pretty much like right when I finished the prayer, immediately they called my name over the speaker and then I was like so I love those stories because I think that you know he so does want a relationship with us.

Denise Jackson:

Yeah, he wants us to know his love.

Denise Jackson:

Yeah his intentionality and we have stories like that in our lives, walking through some things. You have stories like that. I believe you guys have stories out there where God just reached down and met that need immediately because you needed to know that he is God. And if you haven't had those, ask him, because that's all it takes. If you're in a situation right now and you need God, he is waiting to do for you what he has done for us through our lives. He just reached out and show that he is right, here with us all the time and he loves us. So you're with Crosstalk right now on staff. And you have another story where you went to camp when you were 10 and now you're at that same camp every summer right, yeah some summers.

Denise Jackson:

But talk about those stories, because it's so cool how he's ordered your steps throughout this. Like you said earlier, you can never earlier. Yeah, he could imagine.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, you can't imagine yeah, and it's funny because the camp that I was saved at when I was 10 is called Camp Eagle, and I forgot to mention this to you earlier. But one of the girls I met up with earlier, um, she's going to be a sophomore and she's going to be um a counselor at Camp Eagle this summer too, and so, um, camp Eagle is a place that has just grown. It's very special to my heart, and the old college pastor, like he, came from Camp Eagle, and so did his wife and I go there, you know, sometimes with Cypress, and I just see how miraculously God is using that place out in the whole country. But the story with that is when I was 10 I grew up in East Texas, so I'm in Tyler. At the time I'm 10 and for some reason that year and it was like the first year we had ever gone to Camp Eagle- like I remember them showing a video.

Cam Escalante:

They were like we've gone to a different camp in the past but we heard about Camp Eagle and we were like, oh, we have to try this place. But it's like eight hours away from Tyler and so I think it's kind of funny that we even went in general because it was, you know, we're ages probably like 10 to like 12 or 13. And that's kind of far for a church to take um young adolescent, young teens. So we go to Camp Eagle and, um, I'm kind of surprised that I even got to go to just with the state that, like my like home was in and I didn't really like I was pretty much a homebody like I said I tried to protect myself.

Cam Escalante:

I was pretty shy, um, but I graciously, like by God's mercy, ended up going and my parents sent me there and I really just encountered this Holy Spirit and encountered Jesus and understood who he was personally to me for the first time, and I think it's the first time I took the gospel personally like I had heard it but the gospel is personal. Um, it's for everyone.

Denise Jackson:

It's a love letter.

Cam Escalante:

Um and uh. So, being at camp, I just I remember experiencing that for the first time that this love for me, that God has for me is real and I am a sinner. I did this and they did a great job at shepherding that age group. They did like a skit, like a scene where it was a courtroom and there was one person who had, you know, stolen some medicine to help somebody else, but like she stole intentionally, and the other person I can't remember what he had done, but it was, um, it was a crime of some kind or it was a, an offense of some kind, and the sentence for both of them and the idea was it's a small sin and a big sin and um, the, the sentence for both of them, and the idea was it's a small sin and a big sin and um, the, the sentence for both of them was death.

Cam Escalante:

um, at the end of the skit. And so for me, I just remember understanding. You know, I sin like in small ways and in big ways all the time, and everybody's a sinner and we all need a savior and it's for me. Jesus died and went to the cross for me and he loves me, um, and there was a girl at camp who was worshiping all by herself, um, in front of this, like little worships that they were having, and she was just on her knees praising God all by herself and the faith that she had, that I recognized at 10 years old. I remember thinking I want faith like that because it you can see how much she loves God. There's a different fragrance about someone who just has so much love for God. I still don't know who she was, I didn't know her at all, but her faith just blew me away and it all clicked Like I can have a life with Jesus and I can love him and through his love for me and my obedience to him, other people can see that they're loved too through me.

Denise Jackson:

It was such a pivotal point in my life and so, yeah, and then to see that you got to be part of that because Summers Creek goes yeah. And you are at Summers Creek, so you. It just blows my mind, honestly, how detailed he is.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah, in our path.

Denise Jackson:

Yeah, you know that he's leading us. We walk through a lot of stuff, but even there, he's leading us towards this ability to spread our wings, to touch people's lives, to teach them about the love of god that's in christ jesus, and it's mighty. And in the meantime, he's growing us more and more every day till we go see him again, and, uh, till then we're going to still be stumblers. Right, we're going to stumble and we're going to fall. And but he promised we wouldn't fall headlong.

Cam Escalante:

Yeah. So that's a good promise, yeah, yeah. And he promises to never be a stumbling block, and he is not a stumbling block for sure that's good.

Denise Jackson:

Well, so, yay, we've had such a good conversation, but I would like to give you a chance to just tell our listeners out there, or watchers out there, anything you'd like to tell them that may be a piece of wisdom for their lives. And you know, I usually say for those younger women because I'm so old, but you know, you're wise beyond your years because of how God has already been molding and making you so. To any woman that doesn't know the Lord like you know him, what would you say to them? And you can just tell them not me- him.

Cam Escalante:

What would you say to them? And you could just tell them not me, I think. I would just say what comes to mind and especially this is something that God has been reminding me of and teaching me recently is no matter what you do.

Cam Escalante:

It is pivotal to understand that he's just so well pleased with you right now before you even lift a finger or do anything or did anything for him.

Cam Escalante:

He was proud of you and he knew you and he called you before the foundation of the world. And so I would just say, from the place that you do anything out of, I just pray that you have the understanding that you don't have to earn affection, you don't have to earn love, you don't have to strive anymore and you don't have to perform or pretend, um to belong, because you do belong and so doing if you're going to work or if you have a job interview or if you are feeling a high pressure job and feeling stressed from it. Really, I just pray that you understand that we operate out of knowing that we already have access to all the blessing and that we don't need to search for the blessing or for the approval, um, we have it already and you have everything you need in Christ. So I would say that's it and uh, that you are called but you're also kept. There's nothing that you can do to keep him from loving.

Denise Jackson:

I love that called and kept. He's holding us in the middle of crippling anxiety that you, like Cam, can walk from that place into freedom, into life, and life abundantly. Peace that passes all understanding. This is Cam, and she's been in the place that you've been in. I've been there too. Fear was my thing. That just overwhelmed me when I was young, and so I just pray, father, that you would open the eyes of those who can't see you, who can't see your love, who can't see your faithfulness, who can't see your love, who can't see your faithfulness. Let them see you, let them hear your voice in Jesus' name and girls, I'm so happy that you joined us today, and I hope you'll join us again on Rooted to Rising Growth in the Greenhouse. I have to practice that, because it's new to me Love that it's a good one, it's a good one.

Denise Jackson:

Thank God I have people surrounding me that have more wisdom than I do.

Cam Escalante:

Okay.

Denise Jackson:

We love you and, uh, hopefully you'll have. We'll have another conversation soon and we'll share it with you. Bye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Denise Jackson

Host