Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse
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Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse
About Love & Addiction: A Story of Faith, Loss, and Perseverance | Part 2
If you missed Part 1 of Kate Robbins' story, see our episode from September 9th!
What happens when decades of patient love finally bear fruit? Kate Robbins' story pulls back the curtain on a 45-year marriage that endured alcoholism, caregiving challenges, and eventually terminal illness, revealing an extraordinary spiritual transformation in its final chapter.
After years of praying for her husband Michael to overcome his drinking problem, Kate had a profound realization: she needed to stop telling God what to do. The breakthrough came unexpectedly. After his brother's passing, Michael uttered words Kate never thought she'd hear: "I want to start going to church with you. I want what you have." Within months, through Celebrate Recovery, Michael achieved sobriety after decades of addiction.
When cancer arrived suddenly, Michael faced it with remarkable peace, telling Kate, "I'm not running scared into heaven." Their final conversation—exchanging "you're the love of my life" on Valentine's Day—became a sacred gift Kate treasures.
As Kate reflects on their journey: "Those powerful last five years were worth the journey, worth the ride. I never would have missed the dance." Her story reminds us that love doesn't die, that our struggles carry purpose, and that sometimes the most beautiful transformations happen after the longest waits.
If you're walking through difficult seasons in marriage, grief, or any relationship, connect with someone who shares your faith. As Kate and Denise affirm, we need each other—and we need God's perspective, not just worldly advice—to navigate life's most challenging paths.
We're continuing the conversation with Kate, so Kate Robbins is with me today. We are Rooted and Rising Growth from the Greenhouse. We hope that you will find things in this conversation that will help you to grow with the Lord. Couldn't have gotten along without it.
Kate Robbins:Absolutely. Why would I want to?
Denise Jackson:Why would we want to? So if you missed part one, the early stages of Kate's marriage were really good, good lessons for all of us as we're walking through this life together with someone. It's never easy that's what we got from the last conversation is it's not easy? It's not like it just is perfect from the beginning. Don't think that. And we can't change our husbands and we don't really have any influence over our children, except to keep loving them and teaching them when they give us the chance after they're grown. Those are the lessons that we've talked about already, but I'd like to continue the conversation with Kate because Michael got sick.
Kate Robbins:Well, yeah, I think there's some steps prior to that that I just want to cover real quickly.
Denise Jackson:Yeah, that'd be great.
Kate Robbins:After the kids were both out of the house and everything we did pretty well, but Michael's drinking just got worse and worse. Right, Michael's drinking just got worse and worse. And I was in graduate school and eventually completed that and was working on my hours to become an LPC Licensed professional counselor.
Denise Jackson:Oh thank you, I'm sorry.
Kate Robbins:That's a joke. I really began to understand at a very deep level how really wounded he was, which many of us are wounded. It's unbelievable how many of us carry the wounds of like you alluded to generations, but also just of our past, and so it was almost like a life lesson. You know of watching this. That was 2011,. I guess Michael's mother passed. She had been caring for his older brother who'd had a stroke and was completely paralyzed to the entire right side of his body. As I said, michael had a lot of compassion. He was very committed to family and to those hurting.
Kate Robbins:To those that are hurting. Exactly so he. First of all, he flew up to be with his mom while she was ill, and then, after she passed, he called me and he said Kate, I think we're meant to have Don come and live with us. That was a huge shift in our lives. I knew, though, immediately that that was what the lord was asking us to do, and so, uh, we moved him and all of his mother's belongings down from washington state, made a pretty significant financial commitment to buying a van that was could access. So that was a big shift, and I was very thankful for the work that I had at that time, because I had retired from university. But then I had a job that was paying pretty well and I was drawing my teacher's retirement, so that allowed us to survive while he was caring for his brother.
Denise Jackson:Anyone who's cared for someone who's non-communicative, paralyzed, it's a journey, it's you know, I think anyone who's cared for someone each one of them has challenges, and I loved when mom was with us, but I was also exhausted and I would worry about my sister who had her most of the time. Um, just trying to balance all of that stuff because it was hard, you know, and mom had some form of dementia for several years and you know, just continuing to be patient through all of that. And then my aunt, who had a stroke, lived with my other aunt and that was in her family and it was a very hard struggle but it also has its rewards, you know, because you're doing the work that you've been called to do in that time I agree.
Kate Robbins:I could not agree with that more. Um, in retrospect, I feel like that time together, even though I would come home from work and Michael would be drinking and by the end of the evening he would be passed out he knew that I would take over when I got home from work. There was a lot of emotional struggles on my part. But Don, I can't say. He couldn't talk but he could communicate and he and I always had this sort of special bond. He was 10 years older. I absolutely adored him, Thank God.
Denise Jackson:I had that heart for him. Yes, it would have been much harder if it was somebody that you didn't get along with or you didn't have any relationship prior.
Kate Robbins:Exactly yes, but he and I had a very special relationship and I remember one day I was gripping his toenails and I thought this just feels right that I'm supposed to be doing this. And it was. And he died on June 16th, the day after our wedding anniversary of 2015. We had a funeral in our home for him about a month later and, looking back, both of us said that that it was almost five years. That period was such a blessing for us because, no matter what what it looked like in terms of what wasn't working, what was working is that michael and I were in in unison on focusing on don and making sure that he was well cared for, and he died in a home, and I'll never forget that morning. It was like this iridescent, the air was just iridescent and I just thought, god, you came and died and you're still here that's how I felt when mom died.
Denise Jackson:It was just present with us, so present. She just fell asleep and didn't wake up and she just looked so peaceful and I was like this is just amazing. I didn't want her to take her body because it just felt like there was this. I don't know if iridescent was it, but just peace, like such a great peace was in that room and you just mentioned the blessing.
Kate Robbins:So about a month after it was in July, late July one night, we were talking about having done with this and it was a good conversation. I remember that Michael sat up and he said Kate, I'm going to start going to church with you. I want what you have. I have never received a greater compliment in my life. He started going to church with me. He hadn't done that in decades. Literally he would go to Christmas Eve service or Easter or something.
Kate Robbins:But very shortly after he started going to church he started going to Celebrate Recovery. Those of you who aren't familiar with Celebrate Recovery it's a faith-based program where they say right up front program, where they say right up front, recovery is not required and they love you where you are. And that is not necessarily the experience that.
Kate Robbins:Other recovery programs, yeah, yeah, and god knew that that's what michael needed. He wasn't able to do, and actually it's physically dangerous to just stop drinking real fast but he gradually weaned himself off. He was, and then our dog died and he went out and brought an 18-pack of his Miller Gold or whatever you drink, and the next morning he said I felt like I'd been hit by a freight train, not just physically but mentally and emotionally and spiritually, and I knew that was the last time I'd ever drank.
Denise Jackson:Oh, wow. Yeah, and it was, and when was that that was in?
Kate Robbins:2015.
Denise Jackson:Oh, that was that same year. Wow, yeah, it was very short. So God worked for us Once he started receiving God's word. It was quick.
Kate Robbins:Once he started receiving God's word it was quick.
Kate Robbins:Now I have to backtrack and say that in the fall of 2014, I was part of a heart group for years and years through you can ask the women in that heart group. Our hearts are knit together. We were all women who were for whatever reason. Some of us were widows, some of us were married. There was about 10 of us and we met together for 10 years, I think, or maybe 11. And those women were just so important to us. Well, in the fall of 2014, we had a Bible study by John Bevere and it was called Listening to the Holy Spirit about praying in the Holy Spirit, I think maybe is what it's called. And that fall I realized that I had always prayed for Michael. God, get him sober. Get him sober. Do this, do that. I had been telling God what to do, and that Bible study helped me to understand that God is God and Kate is Kate. So Kate needs to step out and just let God do what God does.
Denise Jackson:And I started praying.
Kate Robbins:That's amazing, and I started praying in my prayer language and saying on earth as it is in heaven. That phrase, I feel, is one of the most important phrases in the Bible. It is.
Denise Jackson:We don't claim that. No, well, I feel like our Father. The whole prayer, you know, is something so powerful. I feel like it's the Word that is powerful too. We pray our own desires. Lee smoked for 50 years and he would quit and tell me he was quitting and then start again. And then I'd find out you know, and.
Denise Jackson:I worried. But when I started praying that the words of Lee's mouth and the meditations of his heart would please God, it was like three months later and all of a sudden he just quit. So I stopped praying oh Lord, just allow me to quit this smoking. Just would you do that for me? And then he'll really do it this time. You know, that was what I prayed. And then I started praying God's word over him and it was so powerful and praise God. It was before I told you about his prostate cancer experience. If he had not stopped for at least three years, they wouldn't have done the surgery because the blood vessels would not have been able to restore fast enough. So they would have said you just have to do radiation and um. So that was huge, because they asked us that and it had been three and a half years. So even god's timing was perfect. Yeah, isn't that remarkable? It is, it's just amazing. Yeah, yeah.
Kate Robbins:Well, that was when I really, really in my heart and soul, came to understand that concept of let go and let God. Let God be who God is.
Denise Jackson:We don't have to do that.
Kate Robbins:We have to mind that we stay in our own way.
Denise Jackson:Yes, I love that too.
Kate Robbins:Yeah, that's good. So I really and truly just turned it over and I started doing that. I believe it was October, and by the following July Michael was saying I'm going to start going to church, and by the following October a year's time he had completely quit that.
Denise Jackson:He would have said he couldn't do before that, because Lee had tried in his own power to do it many times and then one day he just quit. It wasn't like an easy, perfectly easy thing, but it was just gone like an easy, perfectly easy thing, but it was just gone. It was like after that, it was like he never even considered going back to that.
Kate Robbins:it was just amazing yeah, in fact, michael, I mean his whole life absolutely focused. He became very involved in celebrate recovery. He started working at a, at a rehab facility, where, um he, he had this idea of could we bring celebrate recovery here, instead of having people go there, go there, could we bring it here? And his idea was that it would reach a lot more people, which it absolutely did so he did bring it there oh yes, we did that for about 18 months.
Kate Robbins:Oh, that's awesome together. What happened is that michael was not technologically savvy at all and I have always worked with computers and so I can go out and do a powerpoint I, we set up the powerpoints together and in doing that we would go through. We use it together. Oh, I love this song.
Kate Robbins:I heard this song this week we planned that oh, it was just such and and he would always want let's find a picture of this, or can you find it? Can you draw this or write? So we would do a powerpoint presentation every week. You know it was a a team effort, but by doing that I had to be there with him and I got to hear him over and over witness to people. That's so good.
Denise Jackson:And that was just like a balm.
Kate Robbins:Oh, it was one of the sweetest blessings that God could have ever given me. And so that period of time was, and then eventually, on Sunday morning, we brought a little church service and were able to invite different speakers in, people that I never would have heard, their story.
Denise Jackson:That's this I love this.
Kate Robbins:Y'all are so blessed because we are really getting to.
Denise Jackson:all of us have a chance to hear the most wonderful stories, exactly.
Kate Robbins:Yeah, it was just precious, precious time. Yeah, In August of 2019, he had been saying he was tired and in August of 2018, I was in Minnesota and my cousin's daughter was moving in San Marcos and he got a couple guys together and they went to help her move and he had what they thought was heat stroke. He basically passed out. They took him to the hospital and called me and said he's in the hospital, he's had a heat stroke or something. You need to come home. Well, there was a very wise hospitalist there and they took a blood test to find out about his low electrolytes or whatever, and so they started hydrating him.
Denise Jackson:Hydrating yeah thank you.
Kate Robbins:And he didn't respond and the hospitalist said something else is going on here. So they tested him and, sure enough, he had lung cancer. They didn't give us the results in the hospital. He was already at home by the time he got the results. And I remember I came home from work and he said Kate, I've got some news. And he said I have lung cancer and they think it's stage 4. And I said, oh my God. And he said well, kate, I'm not running scared into heaven. I need you to know that. Oh, my goodness, yeah, I'll never forget that as long as I live. And he also then said you don't smoke for 50 years, and that has some consequences. So those are two things that he had come to terms with, yeah, and so he went through chemo. He fought it, I think, but I will always believe that there was a part of him that was tired and he really was not scared of death. And as the new year came to, at first, the doctor said, oh, he has five years to live, we'll go through treatment and he'll be fine.
Kate Robbins:It was very aggressive cancer. I can't, you know, some people remember the names. I'm not that person, but he went through all the chemo and it didn't. It didn't stop it. Yeah, it didn't stop it. And in February he had been through a couple trips to Warm Springs and I mean we had done everything the doctors were encouraging us to do and he had quit smoking. Too little, too late on that one. The nurse kind of pulled me aside and she said I thought we had gotten rid of the pneumonia. And I said I was told that we had gotten rid of the pneumonia, the last round of antibodies. And she said well, there's some kind of bacteria in those lungs that we can't really figure out In retrospect. We actually what happened is at the end of 2019, we had gone on a trip. I told Michael, I've got Southwest points. We need to use it before the end of the year. What's on your bucket list that we could do? And he said I want to drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway.
Denise Jackson:I love that place.
Kate Robbins:That's awesome. Yeah, it is. So we took a trip and it was a week long and he was tired. He was so tired but he drove almost I don't think I actually drove at all and so he got that trip, but when he came back, that's about two months later.
Denise Jackson:When he was sick.
Kate Robbins:Yeah, when he was sick, they said actually it was a month later. That morning I knew that he was really sick. That was probably the 12th or so of February, on the morning of Valentine's Day. I went to see him because you know it was Valentine's Day and the doctor was there Very a wonderful man, can't say his name, but he said Ms Robbins, I'm glad you're here because we need to have a serious conversation. He said right now, in your husband's chart it says Resuscitation, yeah, yeah.
Kate Robbins:And as clear as a bell, michael said no, I don't want, I want a DNR. So the doctor looked at the nurse and he said put the DNR in there. The doctor realized how sick he was. We had a wonderful Valentine's. I went and got dinner for him and brought it to the hospital. And the last thing this is, holy Spirit, only is the last thing I got up and as I was leaving, I stood over him and I said you know, michael, you're the love of my life and I don't want you to leave. And he said I don't really want to leave you because you're the love of my life. Then I turned around and said you're violent. Yeah, I wanted to. That was the last time I spoke to him, which what would you say if you knew that was your last words?
Denise Jackson:No, no that was perfect.
Kate Robbins:Yeah, and that was only Holy Spirit, because I didn't think he was going to go. Well, the next morning I got a call from the doctor and he said well, we had the conversation 24 hours ago and we did not put you on the table. I believe he had a heart or a blood clot in his lungs and his lungs just couldn't manage it because he went just like that.
Denise Jackson:How many years since you guys have been married?
Kate Robbins:We would have been married 45 in June of that year. Yeah, so it was 44 years.
Denise Jackson:Actually, you were in your 45th year.
Kate Robbins:That's right and that's a long time.
Denise Jackson:It's a long time to do so and through so much the rollercoaster.
Kate Robbins:Life is a rollercoaster anyway.
Denise Jackson:So, afterwards.
Kate Robbins:Well and okay, that was in February of 2020. Okay, I waited two weeks to have this funeral because I had people coming from away. And that was around COVID starting Well one of my cousins left on March 15th on one of the last flights that flew into where she lives. Oh wow, so we had a wonderful celebration of life. So we had a wonderful celebration of life.
Denise Jackson:It was really, I think, the second funeral, maybe the first one, that Jose, our pastor.
Kate Robbins:Yeah, he's great, yeah, and he came to the hospital too, with my mom. And I felt so immediately as soon as I called Bob, I just felt the Holy Spirit just lifting me and holding me and I've never lost that, really, I think the Sombra Recovery family was so supportive. And your women Well, the women, the touchstone women, didn't come until later. Okay, everything shut down. Oh that's right. Everything shut down. Oh that's right, everything shut down. So the mourning process for me was really challenging because I was alone a lot. Yes, yes, I'm so sorry. Yeah, well, I think maybe that was the way it was meant to be, maybe I don't know. I mean, I'm not going to second guess it.
Denise Jackson:No, no, it was that time that you needed, yeah, but it was very hard. It was hard Because we love our. You know you live with somebody and you love them so hard and everything we do is connected to them. I said to you I saw you grieving and it must have been months after that, because we weren't even in church. We were all online for the longest time and we had just gone through Lee with his prostate cancer and it really was hard to watch you grieving because I started really thinking about what am I going to do without this man in my life at some point, or what's he going to do without me? And it was hard, a hard thing to think about. And what I came to was, if I'm here, what God stole me all through my life. If you're here, you have work to do. When you're there, you'll see him again. You'll be. You know that. Whatever however the world will look there, this love doesn't end. This love is the love of God that is in our marriage and your marriage, and it doesn't end.
Kate Robbins:And everyone's different. Yeah, Several people have said well, have you ever been a date again? I can't talk about the future, but today it would not be fair to another man.
Denise Jackson:I still, I still love Michael, I mean, you know it's a strange thing, well, and I think God works those things out too. You know, I don't think he like you know he was asked that question, this whole scenario. Well, if that brother dies and then she mar this one, which one she can be with in heaven, and it's, and he said, you don't even understand. So that was enough for me to say I don't even understand that. But I know that love doesn't die and you've put that love in my heart. So, no matter what, my brother lee, my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchild, I love them and all my friends and all these people that God's given me a heart to love. It doesn't die, it's not wasted, it continues and it's part of more than just this earth. It's the reason we're here, is so that that love can be shed abroad in the hearts of people, and it's God's love.
Kate Robbins:Yes, and I think, along with love, is the testimony of the life that we've lived. Yes, and you know the phrase, the test brings about the testimony.
Kate Robbins:Yeah, and I often think that about my marriage is that, oh my goodness, and I have my brother and my sister that were very close to me. I mean, all of us siblings have been close, but especially I have one brother and one sister that really loved Michael all the years of his life. They both just were so impacted by the way it ended. Those powerful last five years were just worth the journey, worth the ride, and I'll be the dark song.
Kate Robbins:I never would have missed the dance. Yes, I never would have missed that dance.
Denise Jackson:It still makes me cry. Yeah, what we need to continue to do is look at the walk together, and we would have never had that if they hadn't been there. So if we have to go through the pain for just a short time, we can do that. I think we can do that. Yeah, and he helps us. The Lord really enables us, he buoys us, he gives us tricks along the way, but the Word says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony.
Denise Jackson:And what you and I are doing right now, just testifying to these things that we've walked through we both, I know, pray that you guys are impacted by that, that you don't go through things alone, that you don't feel like you've never thought about these things. Kate, walking through her grief, helped me walking through grief. I believe that we help one another, that we're here for one another, and that really is important to me. I want you to know that, that you're not alone. If you're feeling alone, there are ways to reach out. But I also want you just to know that there's a bunch of women at East Greenhouse and here that are talking to you, that love you and want your life to be good, no matter what hurdles you go through in your life, and God's given us word that makes a difference and will strengthen you in this walk.
Kate Robbins:I found in one of Michael's journals a statement. My daughter had a miscarriage and she was pregnant. Then she got pregnant again very shortly after that and she was pregnant at Michael's funeral, devastated that he wouldn't be there to see her daughter. But I found in one of his journals a prayer that he had written after she had that miscarriage and he said God, you know, the thing that I want most in this life is grandbabies, and that just broke me when I first read that. But after my granddaughter Elizabeth was born, when she started talking she talked about Papa. My daughter and I had a conversation. Is it possible that she met?
Denise Jackson:him Before she said, oh my gosh, she could have. I mean, I don't't know, that's the thing. We just we, we limit what can happen, but we do not understand. One day, face to face, we will. It will be through class, didn't we? Until we're there, but then face to face, yeah, because when I show, her.
Kate Robbins:She'll say Papa, Papa, and that's my Papa.
Denise Jackson:So who knows. No, I don't know. Yeah, but what a blessing for your daughter and for you for seeing her and you. Coaching moment to our girls out there, maybe about, if they were to lose their spouse, something that you would tell them about that period.
Kate Robbins:I've counseled a lot of people who go through grief and the one thing that, to me, makes all the difference is there are no rules in grief. Each individual is entitled to the journey and if it takes 10 years, let it take 10 years. Let your heart heal the way it needs to heal. Some people are ready to change lives and make new beginnings very quickly. I don't think that that's a judgment on the relationship they had. That doesn't devalue anything that they had prior to that. But if it takes you years, that's okay. I'll accept that too. Don't let other people tell you you should be over it.
Denise Jackson:I remember when my brother died, I started noticing that people would say things like oh, she should be over it or she needs to get on with her life. And I was thinking you don't even understand this and you won't unless you have to go through this. It's just too hard to explain, so let them alone. That's what I wanted to say. I didn't always say that when I was younger. Now, if you do that, I would say that Because I'm more. You know you don't want to waste any of your energy judging somebody that you can't even understand, so just pray for them. Pray for them Absolutely.
Kate Robbins:And you could never really tell what's going on internally If someone is acting all happy and doing a lot of stuff.
Denise Jackson:They could be grieving harder than somebody that you see weeping.
Kate Robbins:Right, yeah, but the other part of that is if they can find in you that they're struggling. Advice is not what they're seeking, it's prayers, love, yeah. I think honoring the journey is difficult.
Denise Jackson:Yeah, I love that advice. I'm going to keep that close to my heart.
Kate Robbins:Yeah, thank you. I think you know, in this world we'll have suffering.
Denise Jackson:Yes, we'll have pain, yeah, but he has overcome the world. Jesus overcame the world and we know where we're going.
Kate Robbins:And we know we don't really know for sure but we know that it's there, we see dealing out. Then we'll see face to face and then we'll know we'll go and every tear he keeps everything in that little bowl until it tips over and blesses us. So one one of the things that I am just going to mention, too, is that a lot of people have said well, you feel his presence, don't you? I'm just going to say I have not dreamed about my husband of all his 45 years, your husband's presence yes.
Kate Robbins:Yeah, I just don't feel that, because my vision is that when my husband started that adventure on his way to heaven, he was all in. Yeah, and he's there and I'm here. It's not that he didn't love me, but it's that he's worshiping Jesus. Yeah, and he had completed. He completed his task.
Denise Jackson:He was supposed to complete so that he could go, because his life really was like our bodies aren't going to fail. They're not going to fail. Yeah, who would want to stay in a slug body if you could be a butterfly? I, I think about that all the time and my phone is butterfly. I want to be the butterfly. I don't want to be that little worm.
Kate Robbins:Do you know? The other day this is so ironic on, I think it was thursday morning last week yeah, I witnessed a monarch butterfly coming out of the ground.
Denise Jackson:Oh my, gosh, oh my gosh. I've never seen that.
Kate Robbins:I never had either. I was so blown away.
Denise Jackson:So beautiful, absolutely. Oh, wow, that's amazing.
Kate Robbins:Thank you for sharing that with me.
Denise Jackson:Thanks for talking with me and through two conversations. I'm so thankful for you and I'm praying for you and all the things that we talked about that you're lifting up right now and where two or more agree is touching. We have what we say and it's according to God's word, so I just trust that that's going to happen.
Kate Robbins:If you're struggling, find someone you love, not even that you love.
Denise Jackson:Find someone that you trust to pray with and find someone that loves the Lord Absolutely, because the world just gives you different advice based on worldly thinking that you're going to get something. God doesn't operate that way. In your business, in your marriage, with raising your children, with going through grief, god has a whole nother plan for your life. So find someone. Here's my friend. He's a licensed professional counselor in the world, but her heart is the Lord's. That's who you need, because she's going to operate with the gifts of the Holy Spirit as you're working through these things. But find somebody. They're out there and if you can't reach out to us, we'll connect you with somebody. It's important that we are able to talk to one another and be part of the body. We need each other. Okay, this has been rated and rising grilled from the greenhouse with denise jackson k robbins. I'm feeling she's coming back. What do y'all think? Okay? Well, let her know uh download this video.
Denise Jackson:Give us some comments. We appreciate it. We love you. God bless you.
