Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse

About how a Lifelong Friend Carried Me Through Moves, Motherhood, and the Mountains

• E's Greenhouse • Season 1 • Episode 22

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A 45-year friendship doesn’t happen by accident. We share how two college dorm moms became lifelong sisters through moves across oceans, career pivots, colicky babies, and a few audacious hikes—including a one‑day push across Big Bend—while holding onto faith, humor, and each other. This is a story about what sustains you when the phone plan is limited, the language won’t stick, and loneliness sneaks in even on beautiful days by the sea.

You’ll hear how praying for friends turned into a hiking group that opened community in the south of France, how writing down prayers became a “book of remembrance” that steadied us through the next hard thing, and why putting God as first love gave order to marriage, motherhood, and work. We talk about volunteering when your credentials don’t transfer, aging with fresh adventure and a green, sappy spirit, and the rich surprise of multi‑generational living that lets grandchildren wander in and joy multiply at the kitchen table.

If you’re craving real sisterhood, practical ways to build community, and a gentle push to keep going when the trail tilts uphill, this conversation is for you. Listen for the moments where women showed up with cake, courage, and a steady hand—and imagine how you might be that person for someone else. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs encouragement, and leave a review to help more women find their people.

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SPEAKER_00:

Okay, girls, thank you so much for joining again, Rooted and Rising, Girls from the Greenhouse. I'm so happy to welcome a guest who is like my sister. She's not my sister, she's like my sister. We have been friends for 45 years. 45 years. That's a long friendship. And I'm very grateful to have Bonnie Delauder here with me today and for us to have a chance to talk to you and encourage you. So here we go. So, Bonnie, uh introduce yourself and just uh tell us a little bit about your wife, and uh then we'll get into like our stories.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, Denise and I have known each other for a very long time. We met when Lee and I were at San Lucas State University. We were newly hired dorm moms for the dormitories, and um when Lee met me, he said, Oh my gosh, you've got to meet my wife. You guys are gonna be best friends, and he was right. Yeah, he was getting a hard time.

SPEAKER_00:

And the boys were too. So that was really a gift, you know, from the Lord. And you guys really were had a stronger face when we started out than we did, and we had three kids. Um, you were such an encourager and loved God, and I will never forget I had a Dakers, and um on my birthday, this is really the first time a friend had ever done anything like this. She showed up with cake and cubes and probably something else because it was like this whole big thing, and she got me walking, and you all know the story that I love to hike now. Well, she and another friend, or a couple other friends, were very critical in that too. But she started me walking from a very young age and talking. We would walk around the track. Yes, I remember that. That was so fun. You know, we talk a lot about like being with friends. Friendships are so important. We need those girlfriends in our lives, we need them, they help us make it through the the tough times that we go through, and and you go through tough times, even if nothing tragic happens, you go through tough times just dealing with yourself. And I have fun, and she helped me deal with myself, and hopefully our friends are definitely helped me. We really helped me. Uh, if you're having a hard time making a friend, pray and trust God. And also, you know, reach out to somebody that maybe is not doesn't have a friend, right? You might find that that ends up being a fast friend for 45 years of your life. That's right. When you give to somebody else, then you get in return. And so that's how it happens to go to me, and and then my guys. Your your husband, I disagree, and then you went into the IT field, and then you guys started moving with both my heart. Oh my gosh, because like the first big move was to France. Yes, and you know, we didn't have cell phones back there, guys. And it was just long distance between Houston and Huntsville was a lot around. So Todd had a timer. We couldn't talk very long. Yeah. Uh, because it was expensive and none of us had money, so he was protecting both of us. Um but then we moved to France and nobody could call each other now very often. No, when they were in France and we were still in the US. So we went 10 years without seeing each other a long time. A very long time. At least 10 years. Because you were in France for 10 years, and then you got to California, and I didn't know where you were yet. Yeah. You know, you didn't know where I was. We moved. Um, but God actually gave me the idea to call Bonnie's parents. And I only knew them through Bonnie. I mean, I loved them, but I couldn't even remember where they lived. And then all of a sudden, Quell Valley came into my brain, and I was like, okay, what was their last name? And then I remembered Baker just randomly, it just popped in my head. And so then I started looking for Lefty and Judy Baker, and I called their house, and her dad, Lefty, answered, and he remembered me, which shocked me. I was like, There are different, I'm so glad you remember me. I'm looking for you, dog.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And so we were able to connect on the phone and found out that Todd was gonna be in Austin the next week. Oh my gosh. And we Lee and I and Todd had dinner, and then that set us on a reconnection to get reconnected. And and we always say when we get together, even after those long stretches, it's like we haven't ever been apart.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right. That's when you know it's true friendship. Yes, you've never been apart.

SPEAKER_00:

We have things to share, that's right. But like we're just a secular right there. So good. So, so in those travels, uh, was that ever hard for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, it was very hard. We moved to France, it was the south of France, and uh, like they say, it's absolutely gorgeous there. It's it's like California, the weather's perfect, the mountains meet the sea, and um, it's just a it's a phenomenal place. And I I had two daughters, they were at a good school, an English-speaking school, and I was set up to have a great life there, but um I couldn't get a job, and the language, even though I had taken French for a long time, you know, it was like a foreign language, I couldn't connect with anybody, anybody around me because I couldn't understand what they were saying.

SPEAKER_00:

And so when I had some lonely times and we talked during that time, yes, uh, just that I was lonely, I was looking for a friend because she had been my constant companion and me for you. And even when they moved to Houston, we managed to get together quite a bit. So both of us started praying for friends for me. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

And then um I was uh a friend of a my daughter's mother was in in the American women's group, and we um there was a hiking group in that group. And so I got to go every week, every Tuesday, we hiked the beautiful, beautiful mountains in that area, and like I say, it was the mountains overlooking the the Mediterranean Sea, and so it was absolutely gorgeous. And I got to meet friends from the United States and from Br from England and from Sweden and from which was very crazy because we've never been exposed to people from other countries. Yeah, it was it was it was very rich, and in fact, um, and then we we we did find a really good church there, and we had we we made friends there, and so God provided, and it was a good time for our daughters because they were taken out of a very easy conventional kind of existence, and they were placed in a um international school where again they were they got to go to school with people from all over the world, and they learned so much, it really opened their minds up, and it was it was really a blessing. It turned out to be a very good thing.

SPEAKER_00:

And it has happened over and over and over again for me is I got the blessings too, because years later, when I was working for this company, uh actually leaving the company, um, she said, let's go to France. So I got to meet our friend Tessa, who I loved so much. And we spent a week in Paris and then a week in the south of France. Yes. And we just had the most incredible times. So, you know, even though we were sad in losing each other, God enriched our lives with one experience after another. And it wasn't hard to learn. Like we would go through times again of being sad and disconnected. That's why I'm so passionate about women having close women relationships, because they helped me to grow and trust God more and really survive at some point. Right. And I know for you that happened too much. Yes, yes, yes, and and so we want to be that for you guys, and um, we want to continue to be that for one another and for other women that are around us. We feel like that's our mission. That's right, and it's really, really good. That's fair. Um, so you continued to move. I did. She was like she had her degree, she had a teaching certificate in Texas, but none of those translated into European or even states.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, didn't I? Because every state you have to kind of get a new certification unless you get an overall one. So it was hard. It was hard for me. I did find God did provide some jobs for me that I really, really enjoyed. But what I learned in each new place, especially at the beginning of being in a new place, is that God wanted to be my first love. Yes. My husband was busy, he had his job, he had his community. My du my daughters, when they were still at home, of course, had school and every and their friends, but I was left alone. And um, God, I can't say why are we doing this over again? And I and it finally, after years, I realized that God wanted to be my first love and he wanted me to depend on him. And that was really hard and not fun at first, yeah, but and it's taken me a long time to learn that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, but once but that's all of us, it's all of us. Like I I I'm if you are young and you already know that, and there are young women I've met them who already know God is their first love. They do not want to be unequal yoke, they want to meet the man they need to meet, but they don't want him to take the place of the father. We didn't know that. We had to go through some lessons in order to learn it. But thank God, he is so faithful, he keeps chasing after us.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, he does, and he shows up no matter where you end up, God is there. Yeah, and sometimes he shows up at a at a church or through a minister or through a friend or through your work, but God is there, yeah, and he's ready to to hold you and hold you close and to be to be your first love in that new place.

SPEAKER_00:

And show you your purpose. Yes. So I think of New Jersey and your adventure there at the school, and uh just teaching kids. And were you employed at that school? No, I was just doing everything. She treated it, which is a good thing to know. Like in seasons of your life where you don't have a job, go volunteer full out, do your best in that place. People need you, and you need that, you need the purpose, and God's gonna reveal to you so many good things in those places where both of us have done. Huge blessing. When she cried out, God heard her prayer. When I cried out, God heard my prayer. Yes, and that's what we want you to remember. He's waiting, he's waiting for you to cry out. All you have to do is turn like just turn a little because he's been chasing you. Yes, he never liked you even when you were going your own way. That's right. But we were going our own way in different areas of our life. He was just chasing after us and staying right behind us and watching over us, yes, and protecting us, and protecting us and teaching us, and it was because it's for his purpose. We're only here for his purpose, and really not a long time. No, like we've gotten old. Oh, I know! I mean you are really like like I remember my grandmother, and she didn't even live to be the age that I am right now, and you know, I thought that was old. And now we are that age and older, and but we're we are full of the Holy Spirit. So, like our later days, he says, our later days will be greater, that's right, we'll be green and full of sap, even in our old age, and we are seeing that, we are getting to that, and we adventures right around the porch. Yeah, oh yeah, we that you know, I talk about my hiking, and this is one of my major hiking buddies. She talked me into Big Bend and with another friend, and uh then Videl, too. So Joe and Bonnie, and then Videl, who was tenacious, and I really didn't know. Um, but they were the ones that wouldn't let me quit once I said I was gonna go. Even that hard line. That was the hardest thing. It was the hardest one I've really gone on ever because it was like 22 miles in one day. And it was all up and then all down. Yeah, it was wild. Um, from sunrise to sunset, we did that hike. We were we were hiking on that very first hike, starting our hike, and there were these guys hanging out at the lodge, and they said, Where are y'all going? Where are you hiking to? And I said, The South Rim. I was so excited. And they said, Well, where's your tent? Where's your stuff? And they said, I said, No, it's okay. We're just going for the day. And they fell off their seats left, but I had no idea why until we did that. We've had some wonderful hikes since then. Uh Bonnie and I went into the Alps together. We did, and uh, like it just opens up so much of nature, and it's because of these women who would not let me quit. Even when I thought I was done, I told them at the middle of the path. I said, Look, we could just turn around right here, and I've done enough. This is a good first talk. And they were like, No, no, we're going to the job. It was amazing. It was fantastic. It was fantastic. And when we were coming down, I was all energized. I was like, And that is life. Like, you know, that's what God wants for us is for us to get to the point where we can say, I made it! I did that. What's next, Lord? Yes, what's next? Always ready for what's next, but you know, I hope that you are too because he's got good stuff for us ahead, you know. That's exciting. Yeah, you can wake up each day with that thought. With that thought, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's next? So um, you went through that period, you lived all over the place. It's so neat right now. You are fin you're y'all are in a season of kind of getting to an ending point. Right. Um, but they live in Europe part-time and here in Texas part-time, and we again got to go see them. These two have been such a blessing in our lives, and I hope that you know, I've said it already, but I hope you have somebody like that. But if you don't, I know God wants you to have somebody like that. He wants you to have a friend that you feed and and they feed you. And I've been so blessed to have several in my life, you know, a handful. And they're very precious. You know, that's right. So we pray forever. Yeah, we pray that you have that. Okay, so let's talk about having children. Okay. Okay. So you met me and already had three little babies. I was so impressed. So, what year did you get married? 1979. Oh, 79 and three years when we met you. So 81? Maybe it was only two years. Yeah, that's I was thinking it wasn't very long. Yeah, you're right. And Bonnie was going, getting her degree, Todd was going to school, and they spent all their time with us. You know, that it was so funny because we had these wild ragamuffin kids.

SPEAKER_01:

They were so on red big wheels. Yes. Going through the halls.

SPEAKER_00:

And they would just go so fast on the pop wheels just when when the kids were not there. Yeah. And Jenna. Oh, and Jenna too. Okay. It was wild. But but you left that. You and Top both left Jenna.

SPEAKER_01:

I was ready to be a mom. I was ready to be a mom. But my aunt talked me out of it until I graduated. So I didn't have Nancy until I was working. And I um didn't know what I was doing. And Nancy came and she was very colicky, and we tried all of the tricks. You know, put her on a sheepskin, you know, put her upside down, do this, do that, do this. And so Denise was ready to come see me, and she opened up the door to our apartment and she said, Give me that baby. And she just grabbed Nancy and you held her and she didn't cry.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, you just you just took care of her and you knew exactly what I love them both. But yeah, that little Nancy was like, that was the fruition of prayers and a dream. Yes, yes. Of my friend's dream. And so we were so thankful. Yes. That little baby was here. Yes. And then Kayla and Nancy would be friends, and they were friends, yes. Oh, I just remember. So when Nancy got married, yes, yes, Kayla did the flowers. No, she did the photos. She did the photos, but we did the flowers. Yeah, you did the flowers. Yeah, she did the flowers. That was Kayla. So she's the she was the she was just telling us what to do. Um, yeah, but she did, she was the photographer studio. Yeah, she did do the flower studio. Yeah, yeah. And I just helped. So so our dream of that is of those girls, and they do keep up with each other, which is crazy because it went by so fast. It did. Those memories just that, you know, what it reminds me of, like everything that I've gone through where God has been mining in my life, I've had a witness because Bonnie's been there. So, you know, when we uh needed a job and we're praying for a job for Lee out of college, I was praying with Bonnie, and she was agreeing with me and then witnessed, you know, that move of God. And then when we bought our first house, she was praying for me for the house. And you know, like every step of the way, we've been there to pray for one another. That's right. And um, you know, I feel like that that is good too because it helps with my book of remembrance. Yes. Tells us to remember, you know, to write a book of remembrance before him. And he doesn't do that randomly, he does it because when you're gonna go through the fire and flood again, which we do, um, he wants us to remember he's already been mighty, that he's already moved mountain of your way. And so you don't have to be afraid. The devil wants us afraid. Right. God wants us to be to have the spirit that he breathed into us of power, love, and a sound mind. He wants us to be able to stand when we've done old stand, when we've prayed, when we've agreed, that's right, when we've done all that stuff. He wants us to be able to stand and see and rest in him. And rest, not fret. Right, right. And it's easy for us to fret, you know. Without God, we can't do it. That's right. So that's right. So that's been you know, like so good to have that book of remembrance with you. And um we talk about it when we talk to each other, we're talking about like what's going on right now, what do we need to pray about? But also, do you remember we missed it? Yes, so many memories. Thank God that we have each other in that period of time. Yes, yeah, it's been great. So, uh, okay, so I'm gonna go back to you. Do you remember a time when you thought it's impossible? I can't, I can't do this, uh, or nothing's changing in this situation, and I just need you to move, God.

SPEAKER_01:

So many times, and I I am one to write out my prayers, and so those are kind of my books of remembrance, in that as I'm praying, I'm writing it down. It really helps me to focus and everything like that. But just you know, looking back over those those notebooks and seeing the things that have been on my mind and the things that have been on my heart, and see how God has been done so many miracles and so many great things, you know, bigger, bigger, better than I ever thought. So it's just it's really incredible to see how God has moved and ordered your steps.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So he says more than you can ask or think. Yes. Like he's gonna pour out blessings. Yes. Press down, running over more than you can ask or imagine.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. One of the ways that he has brought that into fruition is that uh at one point when we were living in Vienna, and Belly was kind of going back and forth. Um, our daughter, our oldest Nancy, said to us, um, hey, we're moving to Austin. We're leaving California and we're moving to Austin, Texas. And my husband, without even hesitating, said, We're moving to Austin too. And so we got together and we found a house that was um able to be a multi-generation kind of a uh residence. And that was one of the greatest things because Nancy and her husband Bryce and their little daughter Lila had the the mother-in-law apartment, and we had the big house, and um it has just been now they have another child, and they had another child.

SPEAKER_00:

And then you expand it. So it's a nice three-bedroom, two-bath house on one side, and they're on the other side. Yeah, but they're together.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, and I get to see my grandkids when I'm in the States all the time. They come over that is the blessing. Yes, magically. That is the greatest.

SPEAKER_00:

And for for Nancy, too, who prays and who loves the Lord. And it having Bonnie there means that for her work, she's able to travel because Bryce has helped you know, and that's a blessing. That's a huge blessing in her life, too. And uh, I've gotten to know Lila and Charlie so well because they're I get to go see them just be around. And they're growing up so quickly. They are growing up so fast.

SPEAKER_01:

That's just a great example of how God gives you more than you can ask for.

SPEAKER_00:

More than you can imagine. Yes, yeah. You don't even know what your future, you don't even know you're gonna care so much for these grandchildren. And then I we were blessed too that one one group of a whole family got to live with us for a time. Yes. And then we also had a couple of grandchildren come live with us just for a semester while they were going to school and in seasons where they needed a change. And oh, what a blessing that was yes. I didn't ever think about those things when I was young, right? But they had a pray for it. I didn't know how to pray for it, but God knew what my heart needed and your heart needed, and he met those needs. Yes. Well, so we're getting close to the end. Yeah, but uh, if there's one piece of advice you'd give a young woman, maybe college age, because you did coach them years and years ago, but if you had them today, what would you tell them uh that would help them in their journey, maybe?

SPEAKER_01:

I would say that we can't discount how much God loves us. He loves us so much. He wants to be, like I said earlier, your first love. And if you feel lonely or unloved, you can just contemplate on the love that God has for you individually, personally, for you uniquely, and you can just I this is a weird word, but you can just bathe in it. You can just let it soak over you, and just whenever you feel lonely or insecure or even lonely in a crowd, just let God's love fill you and soak soak your soul because it's there and he wants you to have it. And you can you will always he will always be with you, he's always there.

SPEAKER_00:

And you know, if you if you're not sure of that today, uh I want you to go look for those verses where he describes that before you were born, he called you. Yes, he knit you together in your mother's woman. He knit you, he knew you, he knew you then, and you were born for purpose. You weren't an accident, you are perfectly constructed where you may feel insecure. He knows that you can be secure because he created you with everything that you would need to succeed walking through this earth. If you don't feel that today, I'm gonna pray for you right now. We're gonna pray for you. Um but I I'm gonna pray that you find somebody. Yeah, it's fun to share that with, that you can share that with, and that you begin to bathe in this relationship, sit on his lap, love him, lean into him. Yes, because he really, I mean, if you start looking through that Bible, you're gonna find out who the character of God is, and his character is that he loves you with an everlasting love. Yes. Okay, so Father God, I just thank you for this time that we've spent together. I ask that each woman that hears this, if they are in a place of loneliness right now, that you show them that you are their first love, and that as they love you, you're gonna use them mightily in your kingdom. And you will bring women around them that need a good friend, and they can be that good friend, they can see with their eyes will be open to see other people that need somebody, and together uh they will grow in the love of God that's in Christ Jesus. And I just believe for you today that uh there's much to be encouraged about. So trust in the Lord with all your heart. Don't lean on your own understanding in everything you're doing. Acknowledge him because he's gonna direct your path in Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_01:

Amen.

SPEAKER_00:

Amen. Thank y'all for coming today.

unknown:

Bye.

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