Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse
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Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse
About Adoption, Identity, And Redemption
A single sentence from a kid—“He’s not really your brother”—can echo for years. That’s where our story begins: with a bright, adopted little girl who suddenly felt other, learned to hide, and tried on borrowed identities to blend in. Then, decades later, a mission trip to Panama cracked the facade wide open as Kristen shared her testimony with orphans and discovered the courage to own her story. What once felt like a flaw became a calling.
We talk through the whole arc with Kristen and her mom, Karen: the early joy of finding out, the sting of a careless comment, and the long season of secrecy. Kristen explains how faith reframed everything—how God turned insecurity into strength and used her words to comfort kids who knew abandonment firsthand. Karen offers a mother’s perspective on letting a grown child follow a risky nudge, holding a posture of gratitude toward the unknown biological mother, and trusting that love doesn’t shrink when questions appear. Along the way, we explore how scripture elevates adoption, from Moses to Joseph’s role in Jesus’ life, and why belonging is more than biology.
You’ll hear practical encouragement for parents teaching compassion, for adoptees wrestling with identity, and for anyone considering fostering or adoption. If you’ve ever buried part of your story just to fit in, this conversation will nudge you toward honesty and remind you that confidence anchored in God outlasts opinion.
Thank you for joining us for part two of Kristen and Karen's story. If you missed part one, go check out last week's episode! Listen, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review to help others find these stories. Subscribe for more conversations that turn pain into purpose.
Welcome to another episode of Rooted in Rising Growth from the Greenhouse. I'm Denise Jackson, Karen Stovich. Yes. And Kristen Taibei. Tai Bye. Tai Bye. I've said line before. I'm terrible. Thank you for correcting me. Um this is part two of the conversation between me and Kristen and her mom Karen. And we're talking about adoption. November is Adoption Awareness. Adoption Awareness Month. And so that's what we're talking a lot about fostering and adopting. And if you remember from the last episode, Kristen uh was adopted by Karen. And it was a prayer in Karen's heart. And it was answered to Kristen. And uh it's a blessing. So we're here to talk a little bit more about how Kristen felt about adoption. And so I'm just gonna turn it over to you.
SPEAKER_02:So when I was younger, I found out when I was adopted around like five or six years old. And a lot of the kids in school would ask me if I was adopted because they thought I didn't look like my mom. And so that, you know, made me wonder. And I started asking my parents, Am I adopted? My mom looked at me at first and was like, No, you're not adopted. And I'm sure that totally took you off guard. So we had a family meeting, and then eventually my dad was like, So we do want to let you know that you are adopted. And I was like, Oh, really? Like the cat? We have the cat. So we were just the cat was five. So that explains that. And they were like, Yeah, like the cat. And so I was really excited. I remember going to the gymnastics later that day, and then even telling everybody, I'm adopted, I'm adopted. And it was totally fine when I was really young. But then as I got older, um, we moved to Pittsburgh eventually. I was around eight or nine when we moved to Pittsburgh, and I was playing with my brothers and their friends, and um, somehow they knew that I was adopted. I had no idea that my my brother's friends knew that. And so they I was playing with my brother, and I was like, My brother, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't know, I remember what I was saying, but we were all just playing together. And I was saying, My brother, and then his friend interfered and said, but he's not really your brother. And I I think since from that day on, all my memories of being in Pittsburgh was I don't want to tell anybody I'm adopted. And I think that probably triggered something to not want to share with anybody that I'm adopted. So all growing up after that, I always lied. I never let anybody know that I was adopted, and even sometimes people would even ask because they would think we don't look alike or something. And I'd be like, no, I'm Italian. I'm Italian. Because my dad is Italian, so he has a darker skin, olive skin. And so my brothers also have olive skin. And like, well, we should look alike because you know, we have a darker skin. I'm I'm Italian. I would just lie, I would never tell anybody.
SPEAKER_00:I think everybody's just showed yourself. You were a little girl, and you know, it's it's out of the mouths of babes, you see blessings, but you also can get curses. It's really good to help your children with the how they react to other children because they're already it they may have something already in their lives. I think about a physical disability or a stutter or something like that. Teach your children well, parents. Teach them uh to be compassionate, to be full of mercy, to to bring in those who are lonely and lost. Teach them from a young age because it can really scar somebody and you hide you know something that wasn't didn't need to be hidden. It was a redemption story. But but she didn't know that when she was young. She felt like it was something that made her different from everybody else. And we don't want to be different. Yeah, you never want to be different when you're a kid. And isn't that funny because God created us all uniquely? Like there's not one of us that's exactly the same.
SPEAKER_01:And you never think that way, you know, especially in my situation. I was never so excited, elated, joyful to know I adopted someone like Kristen. Yes, you know, or being able to.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, you know, yeah. And then when I would you know, three boys and many miscarriages, and then you get your little girl. I mean, she's perfectly designed for you. Yes. So when people say that, then she'll be like, don't talk to my phone.
SPEAKER_02:I imagine that you can also fell.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's that's a good story, just in like what we need to raise our children up to.
SPEAKER_02:And I wasn't even to say, raise your kids to be very secure in the Lord because there's it's hands down, it most likely isn't happening that they are different and they're gonna feel insecure about something in their life. Yes, and you can't control that. So the only thing you can control is that they have confidence in God and that they are confident in their differences rather than feeling insecure in their differences. Yes, praise God. I love that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I always worried about my freckles. I grew up in South Texas. And it just was like, oh my gosh, red hair and freckles and buck teeth. Oh my gosh. It was, and those things make us feel like, oh, we don't fit in. And yeah, we're not supposed to fit in, really. We're just supposed to be. You're right, you know. So teach your kids that yeah, yeah. Okay, so how did that change?
SPEAKER_02:Oh God. So in the other podcast with Katie, I talked about going on a mission trip, but um, I didn't talk, I only talked about how that incited me to want to adopt even more so for my life. But there was actually many, many layers on how God began his sanctification work on me through that mission trip. And one of the ways that he was sanctifying me after being born again was showing me, Kristen, you are a very insecure person in many ways. And one of the ways was about being adopted, and I didn't realize that I was lying to people about my adoption because I was so insecure. And he opened my eyes up on that mission trip, not knowing I was talking to orphans when I was giving my testimony. I was like, Whoa, this is not a coincidence. I'm telling them the story about me being adopted, being left at a doorstep, abandoned. And I'm like, these kids are probably abandoned. And I knew that it was not a coincidence to share with them that even though my life is in the United States, and most people think, Oh, if you live in the United States, your life is perfect. And they this was in Panama, so Panama, they they have like slums there and stuff, and so I'm sure people think, Well, I live in Panama, so of course my life's not gonna be perfect, but you probably your life will not be perfect anywhere you live. And you can look at my life and see that it wasn't perfect. I was left at a doorstep, I was abandoned, but no matter what, you always have God, and so that was my testimony to share with them that he is your rock, and so as I'm like there giving my testimony, just I just had so many realizations when I was visiting that orphanage that God was using my um at the Panama.
SPEAKER_00:I was 29. Oh, wow, you were grown. So you had still been not really talking about being adopted all of that time.
SPEAKER_02:No, I was like so. Going to that mission trip was like one of the first times I was like being proud to be adopted.
SPEAKER_00:Now, were you on the mission trip too? No. Oh, okay. No, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So that was like one of my first times I opened up about being adopted to other people that were not my family. So yeah, to me, Christianity was huge. It was huge, and so I realized God has me talking to these orphans, and I am realized that he can use my story and he they can see the redemption and what God did in my life. So in Panama, they speak Spanish, and I had the translator, and the translator was a Christian, and she, you know, was part of running the whole mission trip. I gave them these rocks too that had a scripture on it, and she was telling me some of the things that they said when they were collecting the rocks after hearing my testimony, and they would like hold up the rocks and say, My heart. Like it was just like so sweet. I'm like, wow, they like really resonated with my testimony. Oh, it was just so eye-opening that like adoption and what God did with my story was just like, I can't hide, I can't hide that I'm adopted anymore. God's using this, and he just used it in a huge way to move on my heart to start being honest with people and start finding confidence in him rather than feeling influenced.
SPEAKER_00:Feeling like what other people thought was more important than what God thought of us. Yeah, he really does equip us to be able to stand up. I have, you know, I've told this story I think before, but I was at a summer party and they were all talking about their weddings, and you know, I was a 16-year-old pregnant teenager marrying a 19-year-old. So my story wasn't good, and they didn't know it because I'd lied today.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:For all these friends for five years. Yeah, I they'd say, You look so young, and I'd say, Well, yeah, because it's jeans. It's jeans. Yeah. You said you're done. Why is that jeans? Um, but like it came around to me, I had the choice to lie or to tell the truth. And I mean, tears were streaming down my eyes. I told them the truth, and everybody was dead quiet. Then I was thinking, okay, great, they all judge me. They're not gonna be my friends anyway. No. And then this woman raised her hand and said, Can I tell my real story? And then another woman said, Can I tell my real story? And that's when I realized, yeah, wow, when I'm willing to be vulnerable and open, it everybody may not be affected, and some may not like me. Yeah, but the rest uh it's gonna make a difference in their lives that it's worth it for me to share my source. So that's you. And I just love that you're willing to do that. And what y'all are doing now, fostering children and and one day adopting. So, Karen, what did you think about all of that time when she was uh what you you were hurt when she was lying about it and not telling anybody, but when she went to the mission trip, did she tell you about that?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, in fact, um her even going to the mission trip. I was like, Are you sure? Yeah you go so far away.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, into a foreign country. I mean, he didn't come to Jesus yet at the time, but I remember you were like, You are not going. And I was like, Jesus, like, told me to go, I need to go.
SPEAKER_01:So as a parent, what do you do? And then I said, Oh, I just tell her. And get all your shots. Remember it? Yeah, it was one shot. She goes, I'm afraid they're like, You're gonna get it.
SPEAKER_00:But anyway, uh you're gonna go, you're gonna be safe.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly, exactly. Yeah, and you know, it was that point in her life where you know you finally realize I can't tell her what to do. Yeah, she's gonna forget herself.
SPEAKER_00:But you had no idea it was gonna die.
SPEAKER_01:No, oh, I have no idea because after all this time, no matter how much you can love a child so so much, you take in whatever they give you, whether it's good or bad. Right? You love them more sometimes. And I said, well, one day it's all gonna come together. Really? Yeah, and it really does. And it did. And God it keeps it out.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's gonna come together. Yeah, it's gonna come together. Yeah, that's right, Kristen. We we do need, I mean, that is without God, you live in chaos, and you may not realize it. You may think you're strong enough. Karen was talking about I'm strong enough without God. When she is younger, she thought that. And but there's not strong enough. There's not strong enough. You are against an enemy you cannot even imagine, and he is strong until you have Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and then you have his strength, he stands for you in front of God for the thing times when you failed, but he also stands for you against your dang enemy Satan. He is out there trying to kill, steal, and destroy us. Yeah, and he was trying to destroy what God had created to do you, and he did not win. No, not hiding it anymore. No, yeah, no, that's really good. And she came back and said, Um, you know, I talked to these orphans and this happened, and how did that make you feel?
SPEAKER_01:Oh my goodness. You know, you never think your children can do certain things. Yeah. And then when they do, I'll be like, Where'd you learn that from? I'm like, well, I must have done that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that I just never thought I could do, but it was all God enabling me to do it. Like, even just getting in front of people and talking, that is not my thing. If you know me.
SPEAKER_00:Except that look at her.
SPEAKER_02:I am podcast multiple times, y'all. There's a whole audience here.
SPEAKER_00:One of these days, when you all come to one of our gatherings and Kristen speaks, I just really don't cheer extra laugh for her because she won't be speaking. Yes, yes, yes. Because she has a story to tell you guys. She has stories to tell you, and you have stories. I hope you're I hope this is helping you think about your stories and think about the truth that God created you perfectly and for a purpose as you're listening because he did. And it doesn't matter what your age is, Karen. You've gone for 40 years really just trying to be the strength yourself. Do the right thing, but doing the right thing isn't even enough. You've got to have God, you've got to have his strength in your life. Uh, you have to have a relationship with God, not just say God is God. You have to have the relationship, you have to love the Lord your God with all your heart. And he does that in you when you ask. And then you can love others. And we want you to be able to do that. We love you. That's why we do this. Um, we want you to hear our stories and the stories of a lot of women and know that God can be hugely mighty in your life. There's nothing that can stand against you when your God is for you. Uh, that's our message today. So um, you have anything you want to share with somebody out there that maybe is struggling with adoption?
SPEAKER_02:The best advice I can give you is find God, seek him, know him, and he will give you everything that you need. If there is like an insecurity like I had about being adopted, it's all about finding your confidence in him and knowing how he thinks of you, not what other people think of you. And also, I think just knowing how special adoption is to God. Like it's so special to him.
SPEAKER_00:Because we're all adopted. We are all adopted. We're adopted.
SPEAKER_02:I I don't know why that just struck me. You know, what has been so amazing to me with um adoption too, and finding my confidence um with the fact that I'm adopted is going through the Bible and finding out all the people who are adopted, like Moses, and Moses is amazing, and even Jesus is adopted because he had a stepfather, Joseph. Like he and then his biological mom was you know Mary, but like he was half adopted.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, he was, he was, he had an adoptive father, yeah. Thinking of Jesus as like adopted, I was like and God did that on purpose because He God knew that in the earth that father would be important to Jesus being brought up, yeah. Absolutely. That's awesome. Karen, what would you share with uh women out there that are who have adopted and their kids maybe are saying, Oh, I need to find my real mother. And you know, how how do you go through that?
SPEAKER_01:We've had that conversation actually. Kristen was actually a teenager.
SPEAKER_00:Uh-huh. That's usually when it's gonna happen too. Yeah, and and and how does that, I mean, you know, you thought you thought of her as your baby.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, but always back in my head, I always know that there is someone really very special, yes, besides me.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And um, at first you're kind of like, not her, but like, oh, why would you ever think of her or this person?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But in and I didn't answer like that. I in my head I'm thinking, but in my mind, I always said, I told Kristen, I'd like to thank her for bringing such a beautiful child in this world on what could have been and what how blessed I am.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, that's awesome.
SPEAKER_01:And that ever to share her.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It's a miracle. Yeah, she is a miracle. And Kristen's mom, I know, had to be so overwhelmed uh in that moment that I'll just remember being that young mom. Yeah and then trying to figure out a way to keep that baby safe when somehow she knew she couldn't take care of you. Yeah, and she did it. And I bet there were a lot of prayers that went along with her, even if they were just cries up. If you're there, God, yeah, please take care of my child. Do you know who your biological mom is? No. I don't know everybody. So look, if you're out there, she would she would love to know who you are still. And we want you to know that you know, you we we make these choices in our lives when we're so young, and uh she's okay. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, and she's been delivered from every bit of that, had a great mom, and now she's a grown woman and she's a mom, and it's awesome. Okay, so Father, thank you for this time that we're spending together. Thank you for the words that have come from our mouths. Bless them and uh help them to encourage the women that need to hear this today. Father, I thank you that you will uh open the hearts of many to fostering and to adoption uh because there's so many children still in great need. Um, Father, I just thank you that um your tender mercies will care for those children until even now uh until they have uh parents to love them, um, and um you'll raise them up in the way they'll go so that they won't depart from you when they're older. Uh, I pray that it encourages those children that hear this in the name of Jesus.
