Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse
Welcome to the Greenhouse! Join Denise each week as she has conversations with women who have experienced God’s power in their lives. We'll cover everything from relationships and parenting to running a business and building up our communities. We hope these stories inspire and enable you to make an impact in your world.
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Rooted & Rising: Growth from the Greenhouse
About What It Takes To Be A Foster Parent
What does it actually take to love a child who has learned not to trust? We open up about the earliest days of a foster placement, where trauma shows up as testing, escalation, and a search for safety in all the wrong places. Instead of quick fixes, we talk through the slow, steady work of trauma‑informed parenting: leading with safety, using calm scripts and brief cooldowns, and rebuilding connection before correction. The goal isn’t perfect behavior; it’s nervous‑system calm, attachment over time, and a home where a child can finally exhale.
We also walk through adoption pathways—straight adoption and foster‑to‑adopt—and how “levels of care” change the day‑to‑day. A moderate classification can mean a ten‑year‑old functioning like a five‑year‑old, and it calls for developmentally accurate expectations, structure, and rhythms that heal. Faith is part of our toolkit, not a shortcut. Teaching kids to pray for themselves, anchoring anxious moments with simple scriptures about power, love, and a sound mind, and blessing them at bedtime creates rituals that travel with them if life shifts again.
Community makes the difference. Weekly conversations with a trusted friend keep us from burning out, and school partnerships turn chaos into a coordinated plan. You’ll hear practical advocacy tips—how to write a letter to initiate services, how to organize support in unstructured settings like the bus line, and how to align teachers around consistent responses. We close with gratitude practices that work when you’re tired: progress lists, thankfulness rituals kids enjoy, and the courage to write the hard things now so you can spot the change later. If fostering or adopting has been on your heart, take a small step today—volunteer, talk to an experienced parent, or start the application—and let the next door open.
If this conversation encouraged you, follow the show, share it with a friend who cares about vulnerable kids, and leave a review to help more listeners find these stories. Your support helps build the village every child deserves.
Morning, girls. Kristen, Tebai, and Katie Peggy are joining me again. If you remember from our previous podcast, that we talked a little bit about these women who are fostering and adoption. Adoption. I was shocked to find out and very excited that God had really rescued this girl for purpose. And I've been thinking about it more and more and just so excited about the possibilities that God has for her and you and me and how he orders our steps perfectly for our lives, you know, for no matter what we have to face, whatever the devil throws at us, he's got to throw stuff at us because he lives in this earth and he tries to rule. But you guys need to remember that we have been given all power and authority through Jesus Christ. Every place our foot touches is blessed. So let's just talk about these kids that uh I know we can't talk details anymore, but kids that have been placed in foster care. How traumatic for those children. And I and I'm assuming, because you two were taking care of them, that you feel it more than most people you really before you even were fostering because you chose to foster.
SPEAKER_02:Something that's really good to understand about foster kids as they come into your home not trusting you and knowing who you are. Um, I think that's what's different about you know having a bio kid is you have your bio kid and they always trust you and they have always loved you. But with foster kids, there is no trust that you have built there. So sometimes with foster kids, it's really hard to discipline them because you don't know what's what works. And they also don't trust you at first to want to listen to you. And so it just makes it really hard with parenting, especially at the very, very, very beginning. And and your whole job at the very beginning is protecting that. So that they even want to listen to you.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_02:So that's what makes it really hard.
SPEAKER_00:Well, and and I'm just thinking about the kids, like you know, you're saying bio kids trust, but for those kids, there was never any trust in their situation to begin with, even in their bio situation. Yeah, in most cases, because that's why they're taken out of those situations. They're so unsafe. And and it's just so heartbreaking to me that like a baby, uh a yeah, and even if they were only in a bad situation as a baby, that imprint is on them that they're having to deal with even years later. Yeah. That they might not even remember the source of. But you know, when you all commit to them, I I mean, really, God commits to us like that because we are we have so much garbage, you know, uh, because of the sin of the world, and he still loves us with this everlasting love. That doesn't mean he uh says, oh, go do whatever you want. We have consequences for our actions until we figure out there's sin and there's the act, there's the consequence for sin, until we figure out Jesus is the Lord of our life, and He because of Him, we have been washed clean from the inside, and still we have stony places in our hearts that have to be healed, right? And and it takes time. But He's so patient, you know, like you two. And I I mean I'm watching you more than you, but it's a it's a real story, it's a painting in my mind of patience that has to be renewed on a minute by minute basis, you think? Yeah, so let me do can you can you share a moment without talking too much about the details that just where you have to sh have that minute by minute?
SPEAKER_01:Um I mean, I feel like it's still daily. Yeah, honestly, our kids feed off of, I think based on how they've grown up, they feed off of negative reactions and they try to get that almost for comfort, which is frustrating because we don't want to react negatively, we don't want to yell, we don't want to like have to talk with that stern voice. And you know, so we still we really try to redirect, like, hey, can you please say sorry? We need to go take a two-minute timer, cool down, like we don't hurt people or whatever, but they'll keep pushing and pushing. They might slap us, they might spin on us. Like we've been through so many things where it's like button after button after button after button gets pushed.
SPEAKER_00:And it's just so hard, like to deal with that and keep in mind that these are babies that have been so hurt. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I feel for for y'all and I feel for those children so much that they that they have to go through so much. But I'm so thankful that they have you and you uh on their side that are willing to go through it. And we need more foster parents and uh willing to go through this for uh these kids because there are a lot of kids in the foster system, right? There's a lot that don't have homes like this to go to, and uh there's a lot of problems like when they age out of the foster system and 18. I can't even imagine my kids being out on their own at 18 years old with no structure around them. So this month, you know, is National Um Adoption Awareness Month. Yeah. And adoption is important, but it's so important that these kids are safe until adoption is even an option.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, a lot of kids in foster care need to be adopted. Yeah. So yeah, it's like bring good to bring awareness of like, I guess, maybe different ways to adopt. I know that there's like the straight adoption, but then there's also foster to adopt. And I think that's even harder. Um, kids in foster care to be adopted because they have come from hard places, yeah. And have the trauma, like right, that you have to learn how to like parent through. Yes, because it is just a little bit different than regular parenting. Like, yes, parenting, all parenting is hard. Um, but with the trauma layer, it's just a little different.
SPEAKER_00:Well, and it's layers, and I know that my my uh cousin had foster kids that she adopted, and uh they're wonderful kids, but but there are layers that come out even like as teenagers, yeah, and as uh young adults and adults. And that's I'm so thankful that they're in Jesus-centered homes because that's the only healer, really, of that trauma. Yeah, but God like loves them so much that he got them, yeah. You know, what but we have to be open, God's called us to be open to opening our homes and our hearts to these kids. So if you're feeling that tug on your heart, then I'm probably speaking to you today. You need to reach out, maybe volunteer with the foster village or something just to see if you could do this. Um, and if you're if you've wanted children, consider adoption because there are children that need moms and dads to love them. Um, they need that. And um, you know, you might be just who they need.
SPEAKER_02:So when our last group left, if they left, what comforted our heart was knowing that we taught them how to pray. And we, I remember practicing probably about a month before they left. We made sure that they knew how to pray by themselves. Oh, it's usually me or Jared. Jared lead the prayers at night and other times throughout the day. And time when they were leaving, we're like, okay, we want to make sure you know how to pray. So each of you are gonna pray. What's something you want to pray about? And then they would lead the prayer. And it was such a blessing to our heart to see that how God used us in that way, so that even when we're not with them, like they know God's always with us.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, I love that. It's not an accident, it's not an accident when they come through your lives and you get to plant those seeds that are, you know, you're changing from hard ground to good ground. It's like miraculous, really, uh, what he is able to do because you're obedient, because you're obedient uh in the lives of those herd kids. So yeah, that's awesome. I want to talk a little bit more about friendship because like that has been so critical uh in this process, right? Yes. Yeah. So can you tell me why it's been so critical in this process?
SPEAKER_01:I think it's been even more helpful that both of our kiddos are on kind of the same level of like care.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, because I don't understand that. Basic care, moderate care, and specialized. And so they're on the same level of care. Yes, and it's really helpful.
SPEAKER_01:It's helpful because it's it's hard. Like there are some people who foster not that not that everything goes smoothly, but there are just some kids that are a little bit easier, and our kids adopted easy.
SPEAKER_00:Well, and maybe because the trauma that they experienced was a lot different from those other kids. And so, how much more did they need you than um some of the other kids? And maybe that's I feel like you know, like when you had the previous ones and you were sad when they went on, but um and now you've got these kids that one of them is very, very good.
SPEAKER_02:Because those kids are basic level and these ones are different and moderate. So I do see the difference. Like before, when I only had basic kids, I did not know the difference. I didn't know, but now that I actually have a moderate group, I'm like, whoa, I see the difference. Yeah, they are socially and emotionally delayed. Like uh somebody who should be acting like they're 10 acts more like they're five.
SPEAKER_00:So, like, yeah, so you know, y'all are together, and because you're together, you can talk about these things and encourage one another. And because you're both full of faith, I have a feeling you encourage each other in the Lord too. Is that true? Yeah, so like tell me a time when uh Katie, not just the what time when you met her, which was miraculous, girls. If you haven't read if you haven't seen their first show, which uh is so, so good. Um they talk about how their friendship came about. And I want to encourage you that God's uh planting seeds for your friendships too. So if you're alone, put something in the comments or something, and we'll reach back because we don't want you to be alone. But uh, we also will pray that God will bring friendships into your life that will sustain. So maybe Kristen, talk about a moment or a time when Katie was just so important lately.
SPEAKER_02:Um just our talks are extremely important. I y'all meet regularly? Yeah, once a week. Yeah. Um, I think part of you uh just being in special education, there was times that you have like guided me. Sometimes if you don't know the question to ask, you don't know to ask it. So there were times where you were you gave me some advice about just your specialty that you're in with special education, like, oh, write a letter. I'm like, oh, I can write a letter and get things going with the school more quickly. Giving me that information was like huge for me to get things started rather than waiting to get some of the evidence. Definitely wisdom in ways that I was lacking. Yes, yes. So, like, I didn't know there's a lot of stuff I feel like with school that I don't know. So she's giving, she's filling that gap. And then also just you're always an inspiration to me with you using scripture when you talk to the kids. And I'm like, I know I need to do that, and I just always forget. And so a lot of times I'm writing down how you use that scripture to talk to your kiddos, and I'm like, I need to do that, and I really truly believe it it helps because our kiddo loves to hear more about God, she really does, and I truly believe she has a fear of God. Um to love God, remember that yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So when my grandchildren were little, that this verse, because I saw fear in them a lot, and the verse that where God says that He hasn't given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind. And lots of times in different seasons of their lives, they would forget one of those words. And it's very interesting to me that the word that they forget is the area that they were struggling in. So they wouldn't remember the power, or they wouldn't remember the love, or they wouldn't remember the sound mind. And all of those are so important. And I believe the order is so important. Power from the Holy Spirit is the only way that we love the Lord, that we're able to walk. Love, if you cannot love, God means to change your heart to love. We need to teach them that. And then a sound mind means you listen to the Holy Spirit's guidance, you don't reject it, you listen. So as we teach them this, these words, all of my grandchildren know that verse so well. They know these verses that I've planted in them. They're adults like you guys now, but they come out of their mouth. So, like you're saying, I mean, Katie, you've poured the word in. It's just coming out of your mouth. You're not even thinking about it, probably some of the time, right? Right. Yeah. And as you're pouring it in, God will bring the right words at the right time. Yeah. Um, for your children too.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. The prayers too. I feel like like the prayer that has been on my heart was creating them a clean heart, oh God. You're the right spirit with this. Oh, yes. And so I'm like, like as I pray with them, like that is my prayer when I'm praying with them. And even for myself, like as a parent, I need to have a clean heart, you know, to be a good parent for them. And it's you have to be designed specifically for them.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, yes, designed for them. That's awesome. And he has designed us, he has designed you so uniquely, you so uniquely, all of y'all so uniquely. We we want you to know you're not alone. And um, if you are fostering today and you're struggling, we hope you hear it that we love you. God loves you more, he loves you more. He called you for this specific adventure. It's a good adventure. It's gonna be a good adventure. And we want you to be encouraged and feel loved uh by him, but also by us. And so um, you know, we're just uh here and walking with you. Uh, if you let us know what we need to pray for, we'll do that. Um, so um, Katie, do you have some other things that you'd like to talk about?
SPEAKER_01:Stories that you've been going through lately, or I'm thankful for just how God has been providing connection for like us and for our kids. Like, I'm thankful for the school that we're at, that I knew the teachers before my kids started going there because I've been really having to work hand in hand with them for my kiddos. Like, God has laid a lot of pieces in community and just been building both for me and for the kids. Um, and I'm thankful for that.
SPEAKER_00:And your husband and you are doing good and you're tight and walking together with all, you know. I found these prayers the other day. Uh actually I didn't find them. My sister found them from when my mom had died. And there are 10 prayers, and one of them is for my husband. And it's just all the word. And as I look at it now, because that was back in 1981, uh, all of those prayers that I prayed for my kids and for my husband, I can see how much he's changed. It was like I couldn't really, I didn't see how much he changed until I was reading those prayers. And I was thinking about Lee in 1981 and me in 1981 and my children, and now in 2025, how big those prayers have been in my life. You know, so I encourage you guys with that, write it down and because you're gonna look back and go, yay, God. This is good. Yeah. What about you? Tell me you're thankful since we're in the thankful period.
SPEAKER_02:Just thankful of all the progress that our kids are making. Um, even though day-to-day it's still hard. Uh, one of the things I have to always remind myself, I actually even made a list of all the ways things have improved so that I can go back to that list. I love that. And remember um that yes, this moment is very hard, but like our caters have come a really, really long way.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. And you were talking to me the other day about how good it is that like you're working with the school. And so like you don't that's kind of lifted the like the button a little bit because they're with you now. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:There's been times when I'm just like, I don't know if I can do this, if I can keep going with this. This is really tough. And then somebody from the school will call. Another person, like another teacher wants to help in some area of the day. Like there was the bus area where there's absolutely no structuring. Someone wants to jump in and help with that and coordinate with me, but then there's, you know, obviously the teacher who is, you know, the main person throughout the day. She's on board with trying to coordinate with me. Then you got the other teachers who are involved too that are in other parts. Like everyone's just jumping on board with me. And I'm not sure. So what is that?
SPEAKER_00:Because God says that you have favor with a flow of cups.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, you have favor with God. And you have prayed. Yeah, and it's been like at really cool times, like at times where I'm just like, I just I don't know what I'm gonna do about this. I have no idea. And I guess and then literally, like five minutes later, someone from the school's calling, like, hey, we want to help with this area of the day. I'm like, wow! And like God is like perfectly providing the help as I'm feeling really down about it. So oldest they can provide throughout the process.
SPEAKER_00:And I just want to say I'm thankful for teachers. I was a teacher, and it's hard because you have so many kids. But I'm thankful that God put favor on your kids so that that teacher takes a little bit more to give to them because they see the need. But I feel like God gives them that wisdom to see it because it's really hard. Like, you know, they have a lot of kids to pay attention to. And they could see it as a burden or they could see it as an opportunity. And praise God, you both have teachers. So we just pray for you, teachers out there too, that are doing this job. It's a hard job, and we know it. And we're thankful, we're thankful for you in these places where you're really seeing your kids and listening to God in what you're doing, and you are a blessing too, just like these girls are um such a blessing. And God just smiles at y'all, and it and I love that he's smiling at his girls. You are mighty in the land. It's not easy. He didn't say it would be, it's a war. But in the war, your banner, what you stand on is Jehovah Nisi, Yahweh Nisi, the breath in your lungs and his banner is what you're following through that war. So you are not alone, girls. You are not alone. He is fighting for you and with you, and the words of your mouth and the meditations of your heart are pleasing him. So the season of Thanksgiving is upon us, and um, so you know, you've got plans to celebrate. Are you doing anything special to remind yourself of thankfulness during the season that maybe you could share with somebody else?
SPEAKER_01:I just remember one tradition that my mom used to do is putting like, I think we would have about at least one popcorn curl or three on each of our plates, and we would go around the table and add it to the bowl, and each of us would say something that we're thankful for. And the album became like a Thanksgiving tradition.
SPEAKER_00:Love that. Oh, that's a little carrying on. But the kids especially love that because it's teaching them to find something to be thankful for. Yeah. What about you, Krista? We don't really have any traditions. Well, so my daughter-in-law, Susie, um, years ago, and she's got six kids, um, and it was a wild household. They were all little. Um, but she started posting on Facebook every day something she was thankful for for 30 days. Oh, and she started it again. And every time she does it, I think I'm gonna do that. I don't, but I'm telling you, like as she's posting it because it's my family, it makes me more grateful and makes me think of other things. So I love that little uh thing that she started, and I hope that one of these days I'll implement it. Um, but it's just another book of remembrance. Yeah, you know, and this is the thing about that is like you're going through the fire right now. You're both in the fire, you're not alone. These moments are part of your book of remembrance, part, and that's why I'm so thankful that you're willing to share today, because when we're going through a hard time, our faith is tough. You know, you're hanging on by a thread. God's holding you. But what you feel is I'm hanging on by a thread. But one day you're straight, you're gonna be stronger than ever before. I know that you need to write it down what you're feeling right now, so you'll remember. So when you meet somebody else out there that's going through a hard time, then you're gonna be able to strengthen them.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Yeah, kind of unplanned, not necessarily planned for like Thanksgiving with November, but we started like doing a thankfulness, trying to like daily write down the thankful like something that we're thankful for so that when we meet back, yeah, we can have some positive things, you know. It's hard. Sometimes the negative things can really stick out, but just finding those little things to be thankful for throughout the week.
SPEAKER_02:That's what we do on our talk too. We don't we uh do the Bible study, but we also do a little journal of being thankful. And so we go through these three things that we're thankful about.
SPEAKER_00:See, that's helping each other be strong. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:And I think being like newer in each other's lives too, and like, oh, this is something you don't even know about my life yet. And I it makes me it prompts me to uh tell you like the backstory of why I'm thankful for this. Right. So it's been a great way to like learn about each other's yeah, the deeper relationships.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I love that. You know, um, years ago when I was not happy with my husband, on a day when I was not happy with my husband, I was writing down all reasons I was not happy with my husband. And that's okay too. Yeah because then God prompted me to write the things that I I wished he would be like. And let me just tell you, that was years and years ago. And now he is so much more than I could imagine in all those areas. I found it. Remember when I was doing the thing on marriage, the class on marriage, it just like appeared. Uh because I have tons of stuff written, you know, over all of these years. Uh, and it just showed up. And I was like, oh my gosh. So so I would encourage you guys too, don't, don't not write down the things that are wrong right now. Because one day when you share that with your children when they're grown, you're gonna say, These are the things that were really hard. But look who God's created in you. You are so amazing. And he walked you through that so that you could do this with your life. It wasn't wasted, he doesn't waste anything. And I felt like with Lee and with me, um, he didn't waste a thing. Whatever we learned that seemed really hard, he recycles. We went through a flood, we lost our house in October of 1998. And years later, here we are sitting in this house across the street from the 500-year floodplain in 2015, and the whole neighborhood flooded. We knew exactly, except our house, because we were across the street. Wow. It flooded to the backyard of that house. And uh it washed away a lot of houses. We had all of this understanding about what you need to do right away to save whatever part of the house is left. And so our neighborhood got busy. It was Saturday night, Sunday morning. We were already pulling sheetrock off so that mold wouldn't get in and all these houses. And that wisdom got used. And you know, I would never have imagined that. 1998. I was just thinking, Lord, what are you doing? My house washed away.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And as I look back, he took me on such a journey, took us all on such a journey after that, that I couldn't have imagined. That wasn't in my wasn't like, oh, I want to do this or I want to do that. And he just took me on this great journey of uh doing wonderful things out in the world. And that could have happened if our house hadn't flooded away, but we didn't know that at the time, you know, and he saved our lives. So that was good. Yeah. Um, but also because I guess we still have work to do, right? Because you know, if we go to heaven earlier, I feel like our work's done, we've completed what we're supposed to do. Yeah, yeah. So Kristen, you have some final words for our girls today.
SPEAKER_02:Um, I would just say if you're a Christian thinking of fostering to adopt or just adopt or foster whatever, if you really have that on your heart, that God probably is leading you to do it, you know. Like Denise said, there's a lot of kids out there. And for us and our story, it was on my heart. For you can see the other videos on why it was on my heart. But then even for God to keep encouraging me and my husband to, you know, keep taking steps in this direction. Um, he did small things here and there that would put it back on our heart again if we were to forget about it, because you know, you get involved in life and you get distracted sometimes. So he will continue to encourage you to take steps, just in small ways. Maybe it's meeting somebody or Daryl and Sandy are people who I also met who were a big fan of.
SPEAKER_00:And Sandy's been on the podcast before, yeah, and she's amazing, Sandy Vasquez.
SPEAKER_02:Other people who do foster to adopt, God used them in a big way to help us to keep taking steps because you know it was easy to pause and be like, oh, you know, we'll just wait till our house is done. Because at the time we bought a new house and we could have gotten real distracted by just working on our house and being like, we'll do kids later. But we did it simultaneously. We started working on the house while also starting to get involved in foster care. So if it's on your heart, don't put it off. I'm sure God will keep giving you reminders. Yay, I love that.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. I would just say also like take a small step. I'm I'm always willing to have conversations to share about how to get started. Um, because I know that could be a little bit daunting, like finding an agency and figuring out how do I even start fostering, like start taking some steps. God can put something on your heart, but it is easy to just keep pushing that to the side, yeah, right. So start taking some steps forward, and God will just start opening doors. He will. So, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, well, I just want to pray for us today and for all those kids that need families so, Father, I just lift up these two women uh and ask for you to fill them up on your strength. When they are weak, you're strong. And for all of those women that are out there that are fostering today, I pray that that where they are weak, you are strong. You your uh burden is easy, your yoke, your yoke is easy, your burden is light. We know that. And so we just cast all of our cares on you today because you're able to carry them. And you've called us to this, called us each into the ministry that uh will use our gifts and talents for your glory. And so that's what we ask. And I just ask a special blessing on each one of the children that are in homes today, uh, with parents that are doing their very best to love and care for and build up and plant good seeds. I ask that their uh that their work would um produce a harvest more than they can ask or imagine, and that those children's lives will be changed. And I pray for those that are still in foster care, that uh feel like they don't have anybody on their side, Father. Would you just come alongside them in such a tangible way that they would know that you are with them and that you fight for them even if they have no one else? And I do pray, Father, that you would just put women together with godly friends that would encourage them in your word, that would build them up, that would teach them to be warriors in the land for their children and for their husbands and for their own lives, for their businesses. and to remember to give you all the glory and praise that's due your name in Jesus' name. Amen.
