About What Changes When You Believe You’re Worthy

The year stretched long with chemo chairs, late-night worries, and decisions that felt impossible—and yet something shifted when we stopped trying to earn our worth and started living from it. We open up about caregiving through a husband’s lymphoma, losing two fathers days apart, and later facing the wrenching calls that come with an aging, angry parent. What changed us most wasn’t a perfect plan. It was praying in the moment, speaking Scripture out loud, and letting community do what community does best: steady our hands when the weight gets heavy.

You’ll hear the unvarnished parts: fear whispering the worst, guilt chasing every misstep, and the second-guessing that shows up when you take away the keys or move a parent to assisted living. You’ll also hear the practices that held—cooking for healing, resting without shame, and texting a friend the instant their name comes to mind. We talk about grief with hope, why we stopped blaming God for a broken world, and how believing you’re loved first makes you brave enough to love others well.

If you’ve ever thought “I’m not a good caregiver,” this conversation is for you. Come for honest stories about cancer, dementia, family dynamics, and hard boundaries; stay for the gentle reminder that you can choose trust over striving and receive help as provision, not failure. Listen, share it with someone who needs strength for the next step, and if this resonated, subscribe and leave a review so more caregivers can find a lighter yoke.

Chapters

• 1:29 Welcome And Today’s Focus
• 2:21 Caregiving Begins With Bill’s Diagnosis
• 3:48 Wrestling With Worthiness And Seeing God’s Hand
• 7:14 Praying Through Fear And Practical Care
• 11:15 Friends, Texts, And Praying Right Now
• 14:49 Trusting Versus Striving In Daily Change
• 18:55 Losing Two Dads And Hope Of Heaven
• 22:39 Mission, Purpose, And Loving One Another

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 1:00

Good morning. We are here with Sissy Baskin. I'm Denise Jackson. This is Rooted in Rising Growth from the Greenhouse. And we're excited that you joined us today because we have another set of great stories from our lives that we're going to share with you. And we hope that it'll be an encouragement and that you'll feel stronger when you listen to these stories because God doesn't respect one daughter over another. And he wants both of us to be full of joy in this life. Okay, Sissy, thanks so much for having me. So glad you're here. So we were talking earlier about uh just a season that you've been going through. We started talking about it. Um, but I'd like you to take us through like the step-by-step of the season, and then let's go back and talk about what you send you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:52

So my season in my life right now seems to be caregiving. I I am and not that I'm real good at it. I pray a lot for patience. You know, I know other caregivers that just seem like they're just wonderful. You know, they're just wonderful, they're so calm, they're so patient. Yeah, they put up with so much, and they have all the right words and all the right things to say. Um, the first was uh my husband, which you know, he was diagnosed with lymphoma a couple years ago, and um it was not good. And at that point in my life, I had been going to church and uh Bill and I, my husband's Bill, Bill and I have both been going to church.

SPEAKER_01: 2:38

And living new life well. You'd been supportive of I mean we have a uh mutual friend, the Nancy, yeah, who when Sullivan died, you were living the life that Jesus tells us to live even before it. You were just rushing to her aid and you were caring for her because I didn't know it. Yeah, oh that's interesting. So keep talking.

SPEAKER_00: 2:58

Yeah, so I didn't know it. I never felt worthy of God um actually doing something that I could see, that I could understand. Oh, this came from God. Yeah, that's interesting. Because I never felt worthy, so it was hard for me to see what God was doing because I felt like, oh, he he would never do that for me. Oh my god. You know, and it took a long time.

SPEAKER_01: 3:21

It took a while.

SPEAKER_00: 3:22

Because I've done it a long time. Yeah. It took it took a while. So praying with my husband and having that fear of losing him come so close to me that I immediately turned to God and said, Okay, I can't handle this. How am I gonna handle it? What am I gonna do? Show me, show me, show me. Give me the right words, give me the patience that I need. Because Bill was in his mind, he was dying.

SPEAKER_01: 3:52

And I couldn't have a very strong man, too. So men who are strong don't think they need me help. And that's a real shaking when that happens.

SPEAKER_00: 4:02

Yeah, it is. Yeah, he thought, well, I'm gonna die. And there was no way I was gonna let that happen. There's no way, no way that's gonna happen. So I prayed. I thought the only thing that's gonna change that is God.

SPEAKER_01: 4:14

Oh, praise God.

SPEAKER_00: 4:15

The only one. The only he's he's it. He's that's the only thing that's gonna change that and turn that around. And so God told God taught me um the things that I needed to know. Um, what meals to make, you know, how to change the way that we were eating to support his symptoms and what he was doing. And his healing. And his healing. Yes. And his healing is he was going through so many chemical things, the chemotherapy and you know, radiation and all the things that go with cancer. That changed my life, him going through that and me having the fear that God was gonna take him away from me. And I thought, no, no, God, you can't do this one. He does so much in my life, and he loves me. My husband loves me so much that I thought there's no way I can't let him go. And then the more I prayed, I came to realize that I probably could let him go. And that's peace. He gave me a peace. I was he gave me peace, and he helped me to accept the things that he's doing for me. Yeah, I wasn't always accepting things, yeah. And I think it all came from not feeling worthy.

SPEAKER_01: 5:25

Oh, wow. You know, that's such a good conversation because I know that I remember not feeling like enough or worthy. I always felt condemned when I made mistakes. And felt like I could never get over them. Yeah, yeah. You know, once I'd done that, that was the end. And was that's just a lie of who he is because he is not that God with us, he loves us within the world.

SPEAKER_00: 5:50

There was a lady that you talked about that was in my life at that time and still isn't very much in my life, and that's Nancy Williams. I know. She was amazing to me. You know, she she would tell me, hey, think about this, or you know, what do you think about that? Or how did you think that happened? And it's like, oh, I see what you're doing. And she was such a positive. Yeah, she's so good. Yeah, so good. And she's been on our show. Yeah, and she's such a positive influence in my life. Oh, that's so good. And such a fabulous friend. And then I feel like I'm not as good a friend as she is, right? I'm not as I get busy, I don't call back. I'm not as good as friend as that she is to me.

SPEAKER_01: 6:34

But you know, we have an enemy too, and his name is Satan. Yeah, and he is always speaking those things into our head, into our heart. What we just need to listen to is not condemnation, but when we get convicted that, oh, I need to call Nancy, or I need to call Denise. Yeah. Or Denise, do you need to call Sissy? Yeah. Because he'll tell us at the right time, or just send a text. You know, sometimes. I want to get so good at that.

SPEAKER_00: 6:58

She'll send me a text and go, hey, what are you up to? I know. It's like, oh, I got I'm doing this, this, this, this, and this. And she's like, okay, bye. And I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 7:05

No, it's not like God doesn't overwhelm us, He just gives us, He doesn't want us to feel guilty for what we haven't been able to do. Yeah. He just wants us to do what he's asked us that moment. And that's one of the things that I've learned about praying for people over the years is I would always say, I'll pray, I'll pray. And then sometimes I forget. So now, if somebody has to do it right then and there, that's right. Yes, you have to do it right then and there. Can I pray for you? Because if you pray now, the word of God, and if you're praying the word, which means that it has to get into the life. Well, I forget to look. Yeah, it's okay, I did too, because we're having a conversation. You're part of it though. When you put the word of God into your life, when you read it and speak it out.

SPEAKER_00: 7:49

I was gonna say you have to say the mechanics of that. Yeah. Because I never really knew the mechanics of putting the word of God in my life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 7:55

And it's right there. It's right there. Yeah, it is. We live, it's what be careful what you listen to because it goes into your heart and it's gonna come out of your mouth. So the first like thing you can tell where you are in life, um, if you've got the word in you or something else that's been put into you, is what's coming out of your mouth. Are you fearing? Are you hating? Are you uh always angry? Are you having anxiety? Are you impatient? Or yeah, impatient is too. You you are those are the things that the flesh and the world want you to have, Satan wants you to have. But God doesn't. God didn't give you a spirit of fear, he gave you power and love and a sound mind. And I think he gave us those words in that order because we need power from God to have love and a sound mind, and just to keep going. Yeah. So when he says this is important and he's now, I listen. If he says it, I do it. So if you need prayer, I'm gonna pray right now. If I need to text a friend, I text him right now, and I'd encourage you to do that. When you hear him and you know his voice, you do, even if you haven't recognized it yet. It is that still quiet voice in you that doesn't sound like you that thinks the things that you wouldn't be thinking about, and they just pop in there. That's him.

SPEAKER_00: 9:20

And just look at and drop it a text. Such an easy thing to do. It is, and it's the best way that I communicate because I'm always so busy. I know Nancy, Nancy kind of keeps me grounded, and she'll say we all need friends like that. We all need friends like that.

SPEAKER_01: 9:36

Um, okay, so you're going through Bill's uh cancer diagnosis. Go through Bill's cancer diagnosis. And you are listening to God and changing things.

SPEAKER_00: 9:44

Trying. I'm trying to listen to God. I'm trying to change things. And it's much different when you're listening to God and when you're trying to do it on your own. Okay. Because at some point when you're trying to do it on your own and it's not working, you go, Oh, that's right. I'm supposed to be over here. Yeah. I'm supposed to be listening to God. That's so good. I'm supposed to be doing that. Yeah. And you and it takes me a little while to kind of like that light bulb to go off to go, oh, wait a minute. I have that part of my life that that God that God takes care of. Everything. Which is everything. It's like, you know, God takes care of that.

SPEAKER_01: 10:20

And it's not like you don't work. We work because he wants us to work, but he wants us to work unto him.

SPEAKER_00: 10:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 10:27

So when we wake up and we start that process of trying to change y'all's lives so that you can help support the health in your husband. That can't easily get off in I'm doing the work. Yeah. Instead of I'm just trusting that if I do these things day in and day out, you're gonna make them part of our lives. And all of a sudden, I won't even think about it because you've done it, Lord, not me. Yeah. Which may which takes such a huge weight off. It does. Because it's not because then you're not again condemning yourself or letting the devil condemn you for something that you you neither one of the, you know, your choices are to choose to follow God, choose to follow Jesus. And when you do, then he picks up the weight and carries it. His burden is easy, his yoke is light. Yeah. I might have said that back once. There you go. But it is, it's like that's that's the truth of his word, and we experience it. So in the middle of that, or before that, or after that, I'm not sure if those happened.

SPEAKER_00: 11:26

Right, right before that, my my father's passed away. And then built up.

SPEAKER_01: 11:30

Talk about that. Yeah, a father and a stepfather.

SPEAKER_00: 11:32

My father and my stepfather. My stepfather had throat cancer. My dad had um severe back problems, which turned into um mental issues for him. Um really took him in a whole nother place as he aged.

SPEAKER_01: 11:52

So you were caretaking with them?

SPEAKER_00: 11:54

I was caretaking with him. Luckily, he has a fabulous wife, my stepmom Joyce, who was just wonderful. She was wonderful. But she too needed help. Yeah. And, you know, so I jumped in to help her take care of him and be closer to him while he was passing, and didn't get to really see my stepdad too much because he was in California. But when my stepdad passed away, my dad passed away just a couple of days later.

SPEAKER_01: 12:21

It was just, I was like, Bill's got this terrible disease. So now it's blooming for you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 12:27

And now I have Bill's, you know, both those, both my dads have gone to heaven and with everybody else in my family, my brother, and you know, so that was that was the saving grace for me, is to know that they are in heaven. Yes. Yeah, both of them are very good.

SPEAKER_01: 12:45

We were talking about that, like, you know, no knowing that is. We don't grieve, we don't grieve the same as people who don't know that Jesus has paid the price for us, and that really God knew us before we were ever in our mother's womb. He says he called us before that and sent us and knit us together, and he sent us for purpose. And and I think that's something that is really important for us to remember is it's like we've been sent on a mission. Yeah, and we got sent on a mission with kind of our memories wiped, but we part of the mission is for us to seek him first and let him equip us. And then the rest of the mission is everybody else. Like we have to hold each other up, we have to love love God with your life. And we need that. We need that. I mean, I need it. Yes, I need it all the time, and then love one another, and then love one another. We are there for one another to hold each other up and live that life out, and um, you know, I think that's like what what is the hardest for us to do is to let go.

SPEAKER_00: 13:52

So after all that, then my mom became ill. Oh no. And my mom got cancer, and now my mom, so that was a whole year of dealing with a whole different caregiving because my mom, who, as we were growing up, so we'll start a little earlier. As we were growing up as kids, there's four kids in my family. I'm the only girl, I have three older brothers. And as we were growing up, um, I, since I was the only girl, I went to a private Christian school. Oh, wow. My brothers all went to public school. I don't know what they were thinking. I guess that they were thinking, you know, this is our only little girl. We're gonna protect her as much as possible. And public school was rough and they didn't want me to have to deal with this. Yes, yes. But um, my mom, I believe, took Sundays as her day of break and sent us all to church. Uh she sent you to church, but she didn't go to church. She didn't go. Okay, because that was her break. Oh, okay. And having four kids. So she was she was 21 by the time she had all four of us.

SPEAKER_01: 14:51

Huh.

SPEAKER_00: 14:52

I came pretty close to the channel. My dad was in the Air Force. Oh. So Sunday was her break. So the the the church bus used to come and get us.

SPEAKER_01: 15:01

Oh, well, I remember the church bus. I guess they some churches still do that, but I remember the church.

SPEAKER_00: 15:07

Yeah, the So the Church bus came and got us. My mom got us all dressed up and sent us on our way. And that's how I got involved in church. Oh, that's great. And you know, and she never really did go to church. But boy, she sure made sure that we were gone. And I guess that that was a safe place for her to send us where she could get a break. So as she uh got sick, then so as she got sick, she was a whole different care kind of caregiving because she's very angry. So she's angry, and I had never dealt with that. Everybody that I my dad, um Bill, was just so kind. And my mom, we had to take her car away from her. And did she have dementia too? So she's got a little bit of a dementia problem, um, some memory care problems. Um, mostly the cancer took over for her. She's got some other health issues, she's got diabetes. So she's still alive today. She's still alive, but she's in a she's in an assisted living now. I so I got her moved from her house, got her into assisted living, which was a major ordeal. And then um telling her she couldn't drive anymore. She had driven up and over a roundabout. And yeah. And her car is a bright red Hyundai Genesis sports car.

SPEAKER_01: 16:26

Oh, how fun.

SPEAKER_00: 16:27

That's a car I two-door sports car. So just this last, just the last couple of weeks ago, Bill and I were in California visiting my mom and taking care of her house and doing some stuff and driving her car. Bill and I were, it was so hard to get in and out of that car.

SPEAKER_01: 16:44

That's funny. That's what everybody said about my Volvo convertible when it is. But I loved it so much because I'm little, so I'm just and my mom's little.

SPEAKER_00: 16:52

I mean, my mom's short. It was fun. But for us to get in and out of that car, we were like, wow, how does she do this? Yeah. But she's furious. She's very still in. She's very angry about the chronic.

SPEAKER_01: 17:04

We're gonna pray for her for sure. Yeah. Send what's her name?

SPEAKER_00: 17:07

Mickey.

SPEAKER_01: 17:07

Mickey, father, you see Mickey right where she is, and you love her. You love her with an everlasting love. I just ask you to send labors to the harvest of her life. Remind her that you are for her and not against her. Remind her that she is um still able to be on mission in this earth as she turns wholly to you and finish her later days greater than her former. And then she gets to go back to you. And so I just ask for that peace to overwhelm her and the joy of the Lord to be her strength in this really hard time for her, Father, and for her to trust in you with her whole heart and lean not on her understanding and acknowledge you in all her ways because you'll direct her path in Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_00: 17:53

Amen. Thank you so much. Yeah, because it's a hard. Oh, it's so it yeah, and it's so different from any of the other caregiving and I and I don't think I'm real good at caregiving. I'm I'm just not good. There's I have friends that have written books on caregiving. You know, and they're wonderful books.

SPEAKER_01: 18:10

And they're wonderful books. But in the middle of it, you know, one of the things, I mean, even when I'm at when I'm in the middle of deep hurt and frustration, um, I hope I'm I don't ever do this again, but many of my past experiences, I wouldn't pray. I that was the last thing I was gonna do. It was like I was mad at God. And how could you put me through this? Yes, how could you, yeah, how dare you almost which really he's God, y'all. And so he didn't, he doesn't put us through it, he didn't bring evil in the world, and cancer is evil. God created these perfect, beautiful bodies, and cancer attacks the body. Where is that coming from? Yeah, uh, but we live in a world that is like propelled by evil in so many ways, and we need to be cognizant of that and not blame God for these things. But in it, God will carry our burden.

SPEAKER_00: 19:09

It's so much easier to ask him for help than it is to blame him.

SPEAKER_01: 19:12

Yes. But really, but that's the first to do. And my mom, who died in January, um, she had it was hard, but it was it was like you, you know, like I I've been through losing my brother, my grandmother, several, my grandson, so many people that were just like devastating moments. But this time it was like I just knew God took her exactly when she needed to be taken. And she was great. And I, for the first time, felt like, okay, this is supposed to be great. This is what we're supposed to do. And sometimes it's early and sometimes it's late. We kind of assume it's just gotta be when we're older, but it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen like that. Um, if we finish the mission that he's given us, I feel like sometimes we just get taken out of this earth. And that's not a bad thing. When you look at that, I'm thinking, man, I'm a hard head. It's taking me a rolling log time. Or if he has a different plan for us. Or if he has a different plan. You know, which is so cool. I can't wait to see. I know, just to see if the eater is definitely. Yes. Well, he has. I mean, I can see his plan for you, how you touch people's lives and how you've changed things in this community. Well, but when you were doing those things, it wasn't hard. Those things were like your joy. That's where your joy is. Like Sissy owns a wedding venue and she built with and horses. And horses and chickens. My chickens. And it's here right outside of Wimberley. And she's so welcome, but uh but I like you, I have a great crew.

SPEAKER_00: 20:50

I have a great group of people around me.

SPEAKER_01: 20:52

Yeah, that that is like God surrounds us. But you've got to just for it though. To say it, God. That's right. Tell me what I need.

SPEAKER_00: 21:01

I'm weak. Tell me what I need. Make it so I don't have to learn everything. Yeah. Make it so I don't have to try to do everything.

SPEAKER_01: 21:09

You know? Um, and he does, and he puts these people in the world. And he does it in his time. Like I wanted to do things when I was 19 that I I really had this thought, you're not wise enough to do it yet. And now I'm 67 and and I get to have these conversations with women and you get to listen to them and be part of it. And be part of it, yeah. And learn from it. Yeah.

unknown: 21:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 21:32

Um, like if you had one thing to share this morning with young women who um, when you look back on your life that you would like them to know today, that just could help them.

SPEAKER_00: 21:43

Oh, feel worthy. Feel worthy. You are you're you are worthy. You're worthy no matter what happens in your life, no matter what other people say, because things are so different now with social media and everybody's opinion, uh, people that you don't know. Yeah. That have opinions on your life. Yeah. So it's just understand that you are worthy of God's love. Yeah. And that you are worthy of God showing you what to do and how to do it. Yeah. And you don't have to actually see it, you can feel it. Yes. Um, I I waited, I I would always wait to see it. I'd like to God show me, God show me, God show me. Well, a lot of times He wouldn't show me, but I would could somehow come up with this and then go, oh, that's what it was.

SPEAKER_01: 22:33

So that's like we look back. Yes. Yeah, we look back. Okay, so um one of the things I want to close with is just that I see that your your two dads died right as you had the open eyes to see that your dad, your true dad, is in heaven and your dads are with him. Yeah, which is such an awesome thing. And my brother, you know, who is addiction in my life. The center of our lives, and and trust him that we can love everybody else when we love him with all our heart. It changes everything. It really does. Okay, so we're gonna pray for these girls. Father God, I just thank you for that wisdom. Um, that we are worthy. We are called daughters of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, and he says we're worthy of our inheritance in him. We're worthy to be clothed in righteousness. We're worthy. That's through Jesus. We are worthy to have power from the Holy Spirit and love that comes from the Father and a sound mind in Jesus' name. And we just pray that for all of y'all today. We ask that, Father, you would encourage them and they're in man, and that they would be mighty women in the land in Jesus' name. Amen.